Category: Humour

The Adequate Blogger Award

Happy Tuesday everyone! I’m super excited today because I’ve been nominated for ‘The Adequate Blogger Award’ by James over at James Proclaims. I just want to take a moment to thank James for nominating me. He has a super awesome blog which has poetry and haiku and limericks and poems and also some really brilliant…

The Age Of Envy

I don’t know if it’s a modern phenomenonOr just something that has become more evidentThanks to the prevalence of social mediaBut I’ve noticed that some people apparently feel the needTo claim that their accomplishmentsAre more impressive than they probably areIt’s the kind of thing that one might expectFrom politicians and so-called celebrities But I think…

The Intent Behind This Poem Could Be Romantic Or It Could Be Laziness. I Like To Think It’s A Little Of Both

I like a hot beverageAlmost any time of dayAnd if it’s not made how I like itI’ll drink it anyway My preference is coffeeBut to avoid confusionI’ll happily drink teaAnd accept a fruit infusion Some drinks can be refreshingAnd some quite stimulatingWhile herbal ones I findAre often more sedating Sometimes I like to thinkThat I…

Frog

Welcome to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog where I post quite a rubbish picture that I have drawn and pretend that it is art. Today is something of a bittersweet day because I am, sadly, going to announce my retirement from Artist’s Corner. The time has come to pass the baton on to…

The Tragic Tale Of Dipsy

The picture above is of Dipsy. On the off-chance you’ve never come across him before, Dipsy is a Teletubby, off of the TV show ‘Teletubbies’. I say ‘he’ although I wasn’t sure before I started writing this if Teletubbies had specific genders and, if so, what specific gender Dispsy was. But I’ve checked, because the…

A Touch Of Insincerity

The last thing I wanted to do today was upset you But I’ve been feeling quite stressed Because I’ve had so much to do A really long list of things I intended to complete And frankly I was worried that I wouldn’t have time So it’s come as something of a relief That I have…

Please Read – This Post Contains Important Information Regarding a Forthcoming Induction Seminar For New Followers

Welcome to James Proclaims – I would like to offer our sincere thanks to you for choosing to further your reading experiences here. You are following a great blog with a longstanding commitment to excellence and innovation. At James Proclaims, leadership in poetry and satire is combined with a collaborative spirit and global connections. You…

An Ode To Wasting Time

There are many hours I spend Watching boxsets on my screen Though I don’t know to what end Because I can’t say that I’m keen The mis-en-scene is flawed And the acting is quite weak Yet I still sit and stare Completely under-awed Though one positive critique Is the comfort of my chair

The Birds

Welcome back to another ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog where I publish some crudely drawn cartoons and pretend that they are art. Recently I’ve been collaborating with my now 2-year-old daughter (it was her birthday on Monday). The results have been akin to what you might get if a man with no discernible…

10 Unbelievable Epic Fails Caught On Camera

Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. Recently I started writing posts with ‘click-bait’ titles. It was sort of an experiment to see if it got more people to visit my blog, but also a bit of fun that I thought that people who already visited my blog would find amusing. Insofar…

James Predicts The Future

It’s not like me to use misleading titles for my posts. Apart from when it is. And I fear I may have done just that today. Because this post is not going to be me attempting to predict the future in a humorous way, which is probably what the title implies. Nor will it be…

Wanted – Talented Writers Who Have No Personal Ambition And Are Happy To Give Away Content For No Remuneration Or Credit

A exciting opportunity has arisen for a creative, results focused and ambitious Content Writer who can take direction from written or spoken ideas and convert them seamlessly into quality content that is better than the stuff we’re currently churning out. James Proclaims Ltd James Proclaims is a multiple award-nominated blog based in the UK somewhere.…

James Blogs About His Own Blog

Though unintentionally, I appear to have started the previous two months with a kind of ‘blog update’. I suppose it’s an inevitable consequence of posting something everyday that occasionally my muse will lead me to ponder my own blog and indeed the concept of blogging as a whole. And frankly I’m not alone in this. …

Mouse

Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog in which I peddle the same material week after week in the hope that no-one really notices. The conceit is quite simple. I draw a picture, my very-nearly-two-year-old daughter adds a touch of colour and then I post it on here and pretend it’s art.…

Important Information For Our Readers

Dear Reader Thank you for your continued loyalty and support during these past months, which we know have been difficult ones. As life begins to return to some normality, we want to reassure you that we’re continuing to do everything we can to keep you safe while still providing the quality poetry and great art…

A Bad Poem About A Different Bad Poem

Once I wrote a poem and it wasn’t very good I put it on this blog though I wasn’t sure I should It was quite well-received even though it was so bad It got more ‘likes’ than better posts and this made me sad I wondered if it was worth putting much effort in If …

James Explains The Mask Situation In The UK

It is officially mandatory to wear face-masks in some places in the UK as of today. It was already mandatory to wear them on public transport but previously it was not necessary to wear them in shops. According to ‘man of the people’ Michael Gove, it was basic good manners to wear them in shops,…

Pig – Encore

Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog in which I pretend that fairly rubbish drawings are actually art. Lately I’ve been posting the same sort of inept doodles as ever, but with the added twist that my almost-two-year-old daughter had been adding her own unique take using some washable felt-tip pens. Last…