Category: Humour
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This is Humpty. You might know him better as Mr Dumpty. But I call him Humpty, because we’re on first name terms. Humpty and I…
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It’s the final week of ‘Blogging 101’. Five more days of following an entirely optional course about blogging and being unnecessarily sarcastic about the whole…
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Disclaimer In the 363 words that follow this disclaimer, there are: 210 words of insincerity for comic effect, 22 words of heartfelt sincerity and 131…
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I’ve just had an afternoon nap. It was quite pleasant. It’s possibly the icing on the cake of what has, thus far, been an eminently…
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According to my wife, my posts are becoming a bit niche… It’s true that ten days of blogging about blogging can take its toll. I…
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I didn’t think this through at all. I genuinely signed up for ‘Blogging 101’ to make this a better blog, but then I got all…
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Day eight of blogging 101 and given my unhealthy need to write about each of the tasks rather than just getting on with them quietly…
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Welcome back to James Proclaims for another enthralling report about the travails of a novice blogger, who is trying to achieve blogging enlightenment through a series…
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It’s week two of Blogging 101 and I have that ‘Monday Morning’ feeling, which is ironic for three reasons. One is that I’m posting this on…
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Unlike me, my other half is not a coffee drinker. When I first met her, she mostly consumed diet cola, but she’s moved on from…
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Until today I didn’t know what the word ‘taxonomy’ meant. Actually that probably isn’t especially surprising. It’s not a word in common usage. If you’re…
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Yesterday, after reading my post about who my ideal reader might be, my dearest wife looked at me with genuine sadness. “I don’t think I’m…
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Day four of Blogging 101 and having used up all my naughty school kid metaphors yesterday, I’m going to buck up my ideas, knuckle down…
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Day three of Blogging 101 and by now I’m the kid sitting at the back of the class, swinging on his chair and flicking bits…
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It is day two of my journey to blog perfection as I reinvent James Proclaims with the help of WordPress course Blogging 101. I’m now…
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I’m 36. I’m ok with that. Age is just a number really. You’re as old as you feel and all that. I spent most of…
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Last night I did Kung Fu. It’s not unusual for me to do this on a Thursday night. It’s when the class is. I say…
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Sometimes I find it difficult to motivate myself to do anything. It’s not depression or anything like that. It’s just hard to inspire yourself when…
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Although I can drive, I tend, for the most part, to be a pedestrian. Currently I can walk to work and l live close to…
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My other half occasionally claims to be a vegetarian. She knows that she isn’t really, she’s actually a pescetarian but people find it easier to…
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This post is about football, so it would be remiss not mention yesterday’s Fifa election, which Sepp Blatter, won, essentially unopposed. Again. This despite much…
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I drive a 2007 silver Ford Ka. It is not the coolest car in the world. Still I quite like it. I live in Reading…
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The walk to my local supermarket is eminently pleasant. It’s a twenty minute stroll through charming green parkland, alongside a canal, complete with lock and…
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No-one enjoys a bit of washboard percussion more than I. But apparently the washboard wasn’t created as a musical instrument. It’s actually, believe it or…
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If you ask me what my favourite food is, on any given day I would probably give you a different answer. It’s really down to…
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There’s this belief that anger and adversity produces the best art. I’m not certain who actually believes it, but it does seem to be a…
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When the Antique Roadshow theme song blasts out of my television I feel sick to my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against…
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It’s always good to throw in an Oscar Wilde quote, as evidence of one’s own wit. It’s a strange vicarious thrill. I’m quoting Oscar Wilde,…
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Once again I find myself to be the last person in the building as my colleagues have all departed for the day. Much paperwork to…
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About to leave work at the end of a frankly mental day, my foot was half out of the door when I heard the phone…
James Proclaims! 