Never love Mondays But find them tolerable When I’m not in work
Category: Poetry
It’s Important To Have Standards
I like a cold beer But I drink responsibly I eat breakfast first
The Caffeine Compromise
I like good coffee But some mornings I find that Bad coffee will do
Satisfactory Staycation
This year’s holiday Not the dream destination Easy journey though
Lost In A Bad Book
Oh paperback of little worth Why I bought you I do not know Within your plot there is a dearth Of a hint of narrative flow Clichés so bad they hurt my head Humour that leaves me without mirth I’ve gone as far as I can go And I will leave the rest unread
A Rude Awakening
Lazy Sunday start Would be my preference but Toddler disagrees
Sunny Side Up
Saturday breakfast Not as healthy as weekdays But so much better
How Much Love Is In A ‘Like’?
Could write prose today But inferior haiku Tend to get more ‘likes’
We’re All On A Learning Journey
Lately I’ve noticed a tendency For so-called celebrities That I have never heard of To apologise for things That I didn’t know they’d done I can see at face value That it may seem appropriate To say sorry For insensitive choices Made when times were Supposedly less enlightened Even if the aforementioned times Weren’t actually…
Striking A Balance
I do exercise Because life is better when I can eat more cake
Throwing Stones
The other day I overheard two colleagues Disparaging another colleague (Behind that colleague’s back) For being overweight It irritated me For several reasons Not least because Although I’m not above The clandestine critiquing of others I would like to think That I would never do so For reasons so shallow And unkind As these people…
Complacency
Of course I knew the dangers But, I’m pretty experienced And most of the time There isn’t anything to worry about Maybe I just got careless Assumed that the worst Could never happen to me A lazy assumption I now realise Based on the flimsy evidence That the worst hadn’t happened to me Not for…
Broccoli Monopoly
Eat your broccoli To stay healthy and ensure There’s none left for me
Opinion Piece
Though it is accepted wisdom To equate success to fame I’m really not that sorry That nobody knows my name Yes, I’m glad that I’m not famous I’m happily unknown Anonymity quite suits me I’m sure I’m not alone Of course, I would admit that Fame might well have the odd perk Being wealthy would…
The Beautiful Game
Once in a while I like to put aside my own nonsense and compile the gibberish of others to make a ‘found poem’. In reality, I’ve only actually done this three times on my blog, and the last time was back in 2016, so it’s not a regular activity. The last one was in honour…
An Homage To The Now Departed Daily Briefing
Hello and welcome to today’s update We haven’t got anything new to say Nothing’s really changed since yesterday But it’s important, nonetheless That we update you anyway Otherwise you’ll realise That we haven’t got any idea what we’re doing We’d rather give the impression That we do know what we’re doing Even though we don’t…
Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean That You Should
Though virtual meetings are oft prone To provide many reasons to moan They may have to take place When there’s no face to face But don’t do Teams for two, use the phone
Troubleshooting
If I can’t solve it By drinking excessively Then I can’t solve it
Always Show Your Workings
People who teach maths Believe there’s strength in numbers But still require proof
No Cats Were Harmed In The Writing Of This Poem
It’s not that I don’t appreciate Innovative ways of doing things I’m certainly no advocate For always doing The tried and tested I’m all for experimenting Redefining what’s possible Doing things differently It’s not the methodology that matters So much as the goal And how ever many ways There might be to achieve this I’m…
Renaissance
It has been a difficult time For everyone And the world might have changed now Beyond all recognition It is more than possible That things will never be the same And as a species we will have to adjust To adapt, to reframe, to reflect But out of the ashes of despair Opportunity rises like…
The Force Is Wrong With This One
Haikus easy are When syntax you care not of And Like Yoda write
It Could Be Worse…
Staring at four walls I pity those who live in Triangle shaped homes
The Secret Of My Success
I don’t wish to brag So I work really hard at Underachieving
Welcome To The New Normal
Welcome to the new normal It’s a bit like the old normal But with a smidgen less freedom A tiny bit less choice And quite a lot less fun On the plus side though There are more queues And more joggers A lot more joggers And there is more than enough fear for everyone And…
Teams Spirit
There is no ‘i’ in Teams Although there is an ‘i’ in time And when I am in Teams I often feel like I am stuck in time Sometimes I’m literally frozen in time At least that is the impression I give to others I wish I were more like ‘i’ And not in Teams…
Job Satisfaction
Sunday morning joy Is all too soon replaced by Sunday evening dread
As Per Our Policy…
There has to be a policy For people to be able to adhere to the policy But it’s a theoretical exercise And no-one reads the policy So no-one adheres to the policy But it’s important that they could if they wanted to For some reason Frankly it’s annoying when anyone actually does read the policy…
Positively Pessimistic
Restriction to your home is not The worst kind of jail You can still pretend to work If you can access your email But it’s easy to find reasons To not be very cheerful When it seems that you’re increasingly Encouraged to be fearful It’s appears that times are dark And possibly quite bleak It’s…
Pandemically Proverbial
Home is where the heart is Which is useful because it’s also where the rest of me is All the time now And I like to be where my heart is I need my heart To stay alive Indeed I’m not quite sure how I managed to cope When I was allowed to leave my…
Acrosticly Viral
Commuting no more Online now the new norm Rapid spread of infection Outbreak causing a storm New rules for living Avoiding socialisation Virtually interacting Indoor isolation Rarely outdoors Under lockdown now Swearing out loud at the lack of loo roll
