Something About Nothing

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A few weeks ago, in order to maintain a regular blogging schedule, I committed to regularly writing short posts about ‘not very much’, instead of longer posts that pretend to be about ‘something’ but aren’t really about anything.

Since making that pledge, I have written anything much.

So the plan didn’t work.

And now I’m reduced once again to writing about how I’ve failed to produce any meaningful content for this blog, aside from a couple of poems, one of which was a Haiku that I wrote ages ago and the one I posted yesterday, which was about Bovril.

Bovril!

Who writes poetry about Bovril?

Anyway, I’m really just posting this as confirmation that I am still alive.

I have just been occupied with lots of stuff lately.

Some of that stuff is work related and it genuinely makes me sad that I have to spend good blogging time working on paperwork that no-one is ever going to read but nonetheless needs to be completed so that I can answer honestly when people ask me if I’ve done it.

I’m not above answering dishonestly about completing paperwork and I have employed that strategy many times in my life to get people off my back, but it generally is prudent to complete it anyway, at some point, because even though most of the time no-one bothers to read it, it only takes one excessively keen and enquiring person to start probing for the whole house of cards to come tumbling down.

I feel there are some of these overzealous vultures circling at the moment so I’m being particularly careful to “dot the ‘i’s and cross the ‘t’s” in my professional life.

However, all work and no play would make James a dull boy so I have also been quite busy filling potential blogging time with other fun stuff.

I could write about that fun stuff here.

But I won’t.

Because that might create the illusion that I lead a vaguely fulfilling existence.

Which might even be the truth if I really think about it.

But I think a sense of satisfaction with my lot in life would be setting entirely the wrong tone for my blog.

Less Is More. More Or Less.

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Sometimes, when I can’t think of anything to write about, I write about the fact that I can’t think of anything to write about. It’s a little self-contradictory but it solves a problem.

Equally, when I don’t really have time to write anything, I occasionally write about the fact that I haven’t got time to write anything, even though by writing about a lack of time to write anything, I am proving that I did have time to write something. Albeit something pointless.

The other solution would be to write nothing.

Which may be preferable in the short term but writing nothing on one occasion often leads to a longer-term scenario in which I write nothing for weeks on end.

Which is bad for me.

It may be less bad for you.

But this blog is an entirely self-indulgent affair, for the most part, so ‘bad-for-me’ is undesirable.

Then again, at the moment, I really am quite busy and being busy seems like a state of affairs which is likely to continue indefinitely.

Which means this blog is likely to take a ‘back seat’ unless I can think of a solution.

And one solution is to write shorter posts.

About not very much.

As opposed to long posts about not very much, which is my usual modus operandi.

So that’s probably what I’m going to do for a while.

Write short posts about not very much.

Like this one.

But maybe I’ll aim to make them better than this one.

Although they probably won’t be much better than this if I’m honest.

The Elephant In The Room

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Hello people of the blogosphere. I’m back after something of an unplanned hiatus from the world of blogging. I wasn’t sure what to write about for this post – on the one hand my first post in a while ought to be a spectacular affair, both witty and profound, irreverent yet informative, offering reassurances to my regular readers that I’ve not lost any of my trademark humour while ensuring any new readers who happen upon my blog might want to stick around and read more of my ramblings.

On the other hand, sometimes you can put a bit too much pressure on yourself, and when you’re out of practice, sometimes it’s better just to post something – anything – even if it’s a bit rubbish just to ‘get back on the blogging horse’ so to speak.

I’ve got a few posts in the works, some of which will see the light of day on these very pages soon, but for this post I’d thought that the best thing I could do was to address the elephant in the room.

Because it’s not often you see an elephant in your front room. Continue reading The Elephant In The Room

T Is For Time

James Proclaims (4)

cooltext178900885104338Time.

I never seem to have any to do the things I want to.

I’m always busy doing other stuff.

Like work.

Or ironing shirts.

Shirts I wear to work.

Or sitting in traffic.

On my way to and from work.

I think what I’m saying is that work gets in the way of me having time to do other stuff.

But today is Saturday and I don’t have to work.

I could have spent today doing any one of a multitude of things that would make my life better.

I could have started that novel I claim I’m going to write.

I could have studied those languages I claim I’m going to master.

I could have gone to the gym and trained to become the elite specimen I know I’m never actually going to be.

Instead I spent the last two and a bit hours watching Star Wars.

Time well spent.

 

 

 

James Does It Himself

James Proclaims (4)

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Hello dear reader and welcome back to James Proclaims.

You catch me in the middle of a construction project. I’m currently building a chest of drawers with my own bare hands. Impressive eh?

Admittedly someone has already cut the wood to convenient lengths, predrilled some holes and delivered it to me in a cardboard box complete with all of the fittings I need. And by wood I mean chipboard. Continue reading James Does It Himself

A Blog Post, Written In The Form Of A Poem, That Tells You I’m Too Busy To Blog, But Still Might Continue To Blog, To Avoid Doing The Task That I Should Be Doing

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I’m literally busier than this bee

I’m busy now
Which is a pain
It means I must break
From blogging again

It can’t be helped
Though it is a bore
But I must complete
Some other chores Continue reading A Blog Post, Written In The Form Of A Poem, That Tells You I’m Too Busy To Blog, But Still Might Continue To Blog, To Avoid Doing The Task That I Should Be Doing

A Bibliophile Bemoans Being Busy

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I often claim I like to read
When I have time to kill
A novel is the ideal thing
If I have hours to fill

I like all kinds of fiction
Few genres make me frown
I’m really not too fussy
I’ll even read Dan Brown Continue reading A Bibliophile Bemoans Being Busy