Hello people of the blogosphere. I’m back after something of an unplanned hiatus from the world of blogging. I wasn’t sure what to write about for this post – on the one hand my first post in a while ought to be a spectacular affair, both witty and profound, irreverent yet informative, offering reassurances to my regular readers that I’ve not lost any of my trademark humour while ensuring any new readers who happen upon my blog might want to stick around and read more of my ramblings.

On the other hand, sometimes you can put a bit too much pressure on yourself, and when you’re out of practice, sometimes it’s better just to post something – anything – even if it’s a bit rubbish just to ‘get back on the blogging horse’ so to speak.

I’ve got a few posts in the works, some of which will see the light of day on these very pages soon, but for this post I’d thought that the best thing I could do was to address the elephant in the room.

Because it’s not often you see an elephant in your front room.

But today I did, and, even though I hadn’t invited him, I’m generally a hospitable host and I thought it rude to ignore him.

So, address him I did.

His name was Gerald by the way, which I thought an odd name of an elephant, but as he pointed out to me, he was an anthropomorphic elephant who had somehow managed to get into my smallish terraced house without causing much of a stir, so perhaps his name was not the oddest thing about him.

Gerald and I had a frank conversation and discussed many issues, not least the latest developments surrounding the implications of Brexit on the free movement of people and the largely inconsistent messages coming out of government. We also discussed the impact social media is having on politics and our consumption of news and whether this is a trend likely to continue and if, indeed there continues to be a place for mainstream media, particularly printed media, in the modern world.

We also touched upon the current economic climate, with Gerald expressing significant concerns about the price of peanuts.

I won’t bore you with the full details of our conversation now though, but suffice it to say that Gerald and I will remain firm friends and plan on hanging out regularly. I haven’t yet introduced him to Mrs Proclaims though, because he is largely a figment of my imagination.

Gerald did ask me one question which, I suppose, is pertinent to this post. He was curious to know why I haven’t posted anything for a while.

I explained to Gerald that there really isn’t a specific reason for my absence from the blogosphere. Sadly, the boring answer is that life got in the way. Mainly that was through demands from my day job. As a rule, I do actually find my job to be interesting in the main, albeit some of the paperwork can be soul-destroying, but I wouldn’t really expect it to be fascinating to anyone reading this blog, so I won’t go into detail about what exactly it is that I’ve been doing.

I am though, on holiday, for the next few weeks.

So expect this blog to come back to life in a very real sense for the month of August.

And probably peter out again slowly in the ensuing months before another prolonged absence, necessitating another of these slightly weird ‘elephant in the room posts’.

But let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.

For now, rest assured that I’ll be back on Wednesday with a fairly bad poem, there’ll be a slightly surreal drawing posted on Friday and, for the next few weeks at least, regular postings ranging from mediocre to very poor in quality.

Yes, people of the blogosphere, I’m back and the general indifference of the world at this news is almost palpable…

34 thoughts on “The Elephant In The Room

  1. A few of the bloggers I follow have called it quits lately – sadly because of internet trolls.
    (***stares off into space, daydreams about having enough readers to actually get my very own troll…***)
    Glad to see you back and that your absence wasn’t permanent. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m not exactly a beacon for trolls either. I had one ‘trollish’ comment once but I thought they were joking and so my response was in the same vein as the joke I thought they were making. It’s only when they didn’t respond to that that I realised they had meant their original comment in all seriousness, and I briefly thought I’d made it as a blogger. Sadly no trolls have pestered me since…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So… I’m going to hazard a guess that you slept most of last week, we’ll be able to delight in your presence for the next four then you’ll be buried under a pile of preparatory paperwork and you’ll check in again around October? 😉
    Great to have you back, looking forward to the poetry, always a highlight. Thanks goodness for summer holidays. I had every intention of increasing my number of weekly posts as soon as I was off… but so far I’ve just painted the kitchen!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yep you’ve pretty much summed it all up. Was in the Lake district last week – all very lovely and possibly something that’ll make the pages of the blog but it seemed inappropriate to start blogging again while on holiday. Next four weeks should be fine, maybe even five, because I’m usually too feral by the end of the summer to do anything useful for work except maybe buy a new shirt or two. have yet to get around to household maintenance – it’s definitely something I need to do but procrastinating at the moment which may well be good for the blog…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ohh, we’re heading up that way tomorrow…and beyond. Journeying into Northumberland’s Dark Sky territory. I’m kind of upset we have wifi, as I know I’ll be tempted to check in, instead of switching off!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey, leave my name out of this! I had no knowledge of your whereabouts, and have been scouring the moors for your body since the end of May. I wondered where Gerald had gone to. Now I know. Good to see you back (and you front).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Great to have you back James, had a hiatus or three myself recently.

    I think most of us have elephants in our rooms, but few are as eloquent as your elephant. So I’m actually jealous of your imaginary pachyderm. I think I need stronger meds..

    Liked by 2 people

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