It’s already five past eight
I’m running rather late
I overslept this morning
Ignored alarm clock’s warning
Had no time to eat my toast
Now coffee is the most
I’ll consume before my break
So I’ll be hungry but awake
And the traffic will be slow
But I’ll just go with the flow
There’s no point in getting stressed
(Did I remember to get dressed?)
It’s not been the best of starts
But I’ll try not to lose heart
If I can just survive the day
Then there’s always Beaujolais
Perhaps I have too little will
But I will have another refill
For though Christmas has past
The red wine seems to last
And I’m starting to feel rather ill
The trouble with ‘Twixmas’, the period between Christmas and New Year, is it’s pretty hard to judge exactly how to play things ‘health wise’.
In many households there are still quite a lot of leftovers that ‘need’ to be eaten.
Cold turkey would be a case in point. Turkey sandwiches for days after Christmas is a tradition that I’ve always enjoyed.
Although it is a ‘Twixmas’ pleasure that I’ve actually given up in the name of love. Mrs Proclaims is a pescatarian (which is someone who doesn’t eat meat but does eat fish). So (even though I don’t really get it – why has a turkey got more right to live than a tuna?) I’ve also kind of become a pescatarian of sorts. I still eat meat on occasion but when I’m cooking for both of us I tend to cook vegetarian food or fish. I like fish so it’s really no hardship. For Christmas dinner I cooked a side of salmon rather than a turkey. A whole turkey for just for me seemed excessive and a properly cooked side of salmon is quite the festive treat. It was still too much for two people so there are still lots of leftovers – it’s just that I find myself eating a lot of cold salmon rather than cold turkey. Continue reading Going Cold Turkey On The Cold Turkey
As Noddy Holder off of Slade shouts whenever anyone cares to listen:
Noddy likes Christmas and if I’d written and performed one of the most successful Christmas songs of all time I’d like Christmas too.
In point of fact I have not written and performed one of the most successful Christmas songs of all time and I don’t expect I ever will. I’m going to have to find another way to ensure the festive season brings with it a massive annual royalty cheque.
But I still like Christmas and today is Christmas.
Well as I’m writing this it’s Christmas Eve. Like last year’s Christmas message, I’m writing it in advance so as to allow more time for the excessive consumption of unhealthy food on the big day and like last year I’ve schedule this post to go ‘live’ at the same time the Queen makes her annual speech to the nation.
Last year Her Madge didn’t seem too perturbed by the fact I was going head-to-head with her, but then, like me, she ‘pre-recorded’ her message in advance. I have not seen or spoken to our Head of State in person since last Christmas (or indeed ever) so I’ve no idea if she’s upset by my efforts to usurp her annual message but I can only imagine that she’s seething with rage. Continue reading The Second Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
Did I really just drink all that wine?
Aside from nausea, I’m still feeling fine
Now the Bordeaux has gone
Bring the next bottle on
If I’m conscious then I won’t decline
Why do I avoid
The things that are good for me
In favour of the things that are bad?
I know I’m happier
When I’m healthier
And usually I’m wealthier
Because the bad stuff is more expensive
Than the good Continue reading Having My Cake And Eating It
Days after the day after Christmas
Have a tendency to underwhelm
The period that’s now known as Twixmas
Can be rather a confusing realm Continue reading It’s Twixmas Time And There’s No Need To Be Afraid
Through grapes, grains and hops
I consume my five a day
Sometimes even more
The last few days have been quite severe
I’ve been waiting all week for a beer
Or a nice glass of wine
Would be equally fine
I am so glad the weekend is here
I wanted one glass
But drank five more to avoid