My New Year Resolutions That I’ll Definitely Be Sticking To

Tradition dictates that because it’s the beginning of a new year, I must make lots of pledges to change my way of life, even though I’m perfectly happy with my life for the most part.

It’s mildly inconvenient, because while I accept that there’s always room for improvement, I’m not entirely certain that I’m ready to make any drastic changes to my existence.

But who am I to rally against the system?

Normally I keep my resolutions realistic and achievable but seeing as I spectacularly fail to achieve most of them anyway, I’ve decided to be a touch more ambitious with my annual targets this year.

So without further ado, here are my ambitious and revised goals for 2016:

Resolution 1

Was going to be – to stop procrastinating and start writing a novel.

My more ambitious revised goal – to come up with an idea for a novel, write it, edit it and secure representation from an agent which ultimately leads to me getting a book deal and publishing a bestseller, which in turn goes on to be adapted into a Hollywood blockbuster. Twelve months is totally enough time for that to happen.

Resolution 2

Was going to be – get a bit fitter.

My more ambitious revised goal  – to get so fit that Team GB have no choice but to select me for one of the more prestigious Olympic events. I will then win Gold in said event at the Rio games.

Resolution 3

Was going to be – maybe start learning a new language?

My more ambitious revised goal – become completely fluent in over six million forms of communication, like what C3PO can do in Star Wars. I don’t care if he’s a fictional robot – I reckon that’s easily achievable. I can already speak English and French (badly) so I’m basically half way there.

Resolution 4

Was going to be – drink a bit less coffee

My more ambitious revised goal – invent a new drink that I like better than coffee that isn’t beer. Market said drink and become a millionaire. Then, for the sake of irony, start drinking coffee again.

Resolution 5

Was going to be – get at least eight hours of sleep a night.

My more ambitious revised goal – hibernate.

Resolution 6

Was going to be – devise a blogging schedule that is coherent and sensible, rather than blogging every day for a month and then not blogging at all for a few weeks.  Also to make sure that the content is varied, so it’s not all poems and short stories one week and incoherent rants about soup the next.

My more ambitious revised goal – forget all the whimsical nonsense  that currently plagues my blog, instead get all serious and focus on turning James Proclaims into the world’s ‘go to’ blog for business and financial advice.

 

I have a feeling that 2016 is going to be an epic twelve months for me but for now, all of us here* at James Proclaims would like to wish you a Happy New Year.

 

*Just to clarify that ‘all of us here’ is really just me.