James Proclaims (4)


Tradition dictates that because it’s the beginning of a new year, I must make lots of pledges to change my way of life, even though I’m perfectly happy with my life for the most part.

It’s mildly inconvenient, because while I accept that there’s always room for improvement, I’m not entirely certain that I’m ready to make any drastic changes to my existence.

But who am I to rally against the system?

Normally I keep my resolutions realistic and achievable but seeing as I spectacularly fail to achieve most of them anyway, I’ve decided to be a touch more ambitious with my annual targets this year.

So without further ado, here are my ambitious and revised goals for 2016:

Resolution 1

Was going to be – to stop procrastinating and start writing a novel.

My more ambitious revised goal – to come up with an idea for a novel, write it, edit it and secure representation from an agent which ultimately leads to me getting a book deal and publishing a bestseller, which in turn goes on to be adapted into a Hollywood blockbuster. Twelve months is totally enough time for that to happen.

Resolution 2

Was going to be – get a bit fitter.

My more ambitious revised goal  – to get so fit that Team GB have no choice but to select me for one of the more prestigious Olympic events. I will then win Gold in said event at the Rio games.

Resolution 3

Was going to be – maybe start learning a new language?

My more ambitious revised goal – become completely fluent in over six million forms of communication, like what C3PO can do in Star Wars. I don’t care if he’s a fictional robot – I reckon that’s easily achievable. I can already speak English and French (badly) so I’m basically half way there.

Resolution 4

Was going to be – drink a bit less coffee

My more ambitious revised goal – invent a new drink that I like better than coffee that isn’t beer. Market said drink and become a millionaire. Then, for the sake of irony, start drinking coffee again.

Resolution 5

Was going to be – get at least eight hours of sleep a night.

My more ambitious revised goal – hibernate.

Resolution 6

Was going to be – devise a blogging schedule that is coherent and sensible, rather than blogging every day for a month and then not blogging at all for a few weeks.  Also to make sure that the content is varied, so it’s not all poems and short stories one week and incoherent rants about soup the next.

My more ambitious revised goal – forget all the whimsical nonsense  that currently plagues my blog, instead get all serious and focus on turning James Proclaims into the world’s ‘go to’ blog for business and financial advice.


I have a feeling that 2016 is going to be an epic twelve months for me but for now, all of us here* at James Proclaims would like to wish you a Happy New Year.


*Just to clarify that ‘all of us here’ is really just me.

34 thoughts on “My New Year Resolutions That I’ll Definitely Be Sticking To

    1. Thanks – I definitely think hibernation would improve all of our lives and it’s pioneering spirits like us that will help it to spread and become a lifestyle choice of the discerning…

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Haha, if you’re in, go all in! You should add ‘build my own house’ to the list as clearly you’re going to need somewhere to store your Oscars, medals and Sports Personality of the Year award! You could hibernate there too 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I didn’t even think of going for Sports Personality of the Year. I’m totally adding that to the list. I might leave the house building to 2017 though. I don’t want to be too ambitious.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Just to clarify, C3PO was an android, R2d2 was a robot. Just a small, little, tiny fact.

    Androids have a “face” with two eyes and a mouth, and can usually programmed to communicate with humans.

    But they’re not the droids you’re looking for *dramatic hand gesture ** NOt that kind!


    1. But they were both droids weren’t they? Droids is a made up Star Wars term for robots that seems like it’s an abbreviation of android but isn’t in so far as every robot seems to be referred to as a ‘droid’. I acknowledge your point that C3PO was an android but my dictionary tells me that an android is a specific type of robot, so technically we’re both right.


      1. I consider myself educated, although the article does seem to suggest that C3PO is a robot, not an android, which would make my original statement correct would it not?


  3. Number 7…win the lottery. Because 7 is such a wonderful number. And why not…you need to finance that time to write, study, work out to win Olympics, invent, build the house to hibernate in and become a financial genius. My “find the joy in each day” resolution feels so slacker now. 🙂


    1. Winning the lottery would help, but then where would my motivation be to achieve all of that other stuff? Also, if I am able to find the joy in each day of 2016 then I’ll count it as a pretty good year so your resolution is way better than any of mine.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s nice to see your ambitions soaring already James, puts me in mind of that famous inspirational character from legend, Icarus..

    I just hope all the money and fame doesn’t go to your head and you forget all us regular folk, blogging day in and day out with precious little to show for it. At the very least you could invite us to the glitzy opening of the movie adaptation so we get a little glimpse of the good life, of which we can but dream.

    Happy new year!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow!! This is so magnificent that my own resolutions pale in comparison. Now I’m ashamed to show the world my puny little list, and you’re too famous (infamous?) to totally steal from you. Just color me jealous and allow me to slink away into my little hidey-hole to lick my wounds and try to be more creative.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. More than happy for you to steal my idea though. We should all be shooting for the stars in 2016 and then we can all be famous and rich, which is, after all, all that matters really.


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