Lose Weight And Feel Great In Three Simple Steps

James Proclaims (4)

Hello, I’m James and this is my latest post on a blog I like to call James Proclaims.

It’s not really a blog about weight-loss or fitness, although occasionally I have used my own lacklustre attempts to improve my health and wellbeing as the basis for some of my posts, which for the most part are meant to be amusing rather than inspirational.

I can’t tell you how to lose weight and feel great in three simple steps. I doubt there are three simple steps. Assuming you have no underlying medical conditions, if you eat healthily and do a reasonable amount of exercise you’ll probably be fine. I don’t think there are any obvious short-cuts, but I’m no expert. I don’t wish to dismiss how difficult it is to eat healthily and do regular exercise either – I find both to be soul-destroyingly difficult. Nonetheless, I think that is the only route that will yield results.

Obviously if you’re a regular visitor, you’ll have probably worked out that the title for the post was a continuation of a theme I started last week, when I decided to write a post with an obvious click-bait title to see if it attracted more people to my blog. I mainly did it for a laugh, but I also learned a valuable lesson. Which was that writing click-bait titles that have little or nothing to do with your post does actually work, if your sole goal is to attract more visitors to your blog.

And to be fair, although I did acquire some new ‘bot’ followers, I also did get lots of comments and engagement from real people. I was unduly rewarded for my Machiavellian ways and it was a busier day than normal over here at James Proclaims Towers*. Certainly, busy enough for me to try the same trick again this week.

Last week’s click-bait title was specifically pitched at other bloggers, and ultimately, although my post did not help anyone to generate additional followers for their blogs, the post in question was at least about the whole concept of blog followers, so hopefully none of my new visitors left feeling hugely short-changed.

It would only seem fair, then, to dedicate the rest of this post to the topic of weight loss.

But that does seem a bit boring.

So, I’m not going to do that.


*I’m trying out ‘James Proclaims Towers’ as the new blog nickname for my home. You obviously don’t know what my house looks like, but if you did, you would know that ‘James Proclaims Towers’ is hilariously ironic.

  23 comments for “Lose Weight And Feel Great In Three Simple Steps

  1. Scribblans
    July 8, 2020 at 8:52 am

    Why not try this one simple little trick to lose some weight NOW! Click this spam link to find out more! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-58S8e2kQ4
    (Incidentally, is James Proclaims Towers the block next door to Nelson Mandela Towers?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 8, 2020 at 9:01 am

      It’s a similar vibe to Nelson Mandela Towers…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. July 8, 2020 at 9:07 am

    I do like the James Proclaims Towers folly you’re attempting to foist. Be warned however, any overindulgence of cheap tacky gold in the colour scheme or attempts to build a golf course in the front garden and I’m outta here…

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 8, 2020 at 9:52 am

      Fortunately there is no front garden. There is an access point to the sewers in the back garden which is a rather lovely feature…

      Liked by 2 people

  3. July 8, 2020 at 12:15 pm

    Damn. And here I thought you’d found a magic weight loss pill, you know…. the one that won’t give you constant diarrhea. Tres disappointing.
    Please fling yourself off your Tower immediately.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 8, 2020 at 12:28 pm

      I wouldn’t have far to fall if I did…

      Liked by 2 people

  4. July 8, 2020 at 1:21 pm

    I knew it was safe to read this as it Would Not be about weight loss, which would have been boring.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 8, 2020 at 1:38 pm

      I’m glad I didn’t let you down

      Liked by 3 people

      • July 8, 2020 at 10:24 pm

        Talking of letting you down, I danced to all of the videos in the link from Scribblans and I lost 7 pounds!

        Liked by 1 person

      • July 8, 2020 at 10:25 pm

        If you ask him nicely he might give you a refund…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. July 8, 2020 at 6:58 pm

    James Proclaims Towers is a nice name. I don’t mind the clickbait titles, either because I am probably going to read the whole thing no matter what it’s called. How does Mr’s Proclaims like it now that she has moved to the more upscale sounding Towers? Er, you don’t keep her in the tower, I hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 8, 2020 at 7:06 pm

      She hasn’t really noticed much of a difference but she does like the name…

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 8, 2020 at 7:34 pm

        Well, it hasa certain ring to it.


  6. July 8, 2020 at 10:26 pm

    I love those crenellated plants pots at the front of JP Towers by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. July 9, 2020 at 2:56 am

    Your clickbait titles are fantastic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 9, 2020 at 8:27 am

      I think I might be addicted to this…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. July 11, 2020 at 9:20 pm

    I knew what you were up to the minute I saw the title. Fool me twice… 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 12, 2020 at 5:59 am

      I’m glad you came back though 🙂


  9. July 12, 2020 at 3:43 am

    Well, I guess if you’re having fun then cheers, but you write intelligently, so if you build that skill on subjects you enjoy with great titles, titles are key to success, then Google will rank your site, and readers will come. Takes time, 37 weeks for each article to begin ranking, but it’s a rewarding journey to figure out how to make it all work without tricks. (; I visited because I love James Proclaims and the green sun.. figured there was something cool behind it. And there is! So I vote for real James Proclaims..

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 12, 2020 at 5:55 am

      I’m definitely not averse to genuine success – the click bait titles are just a bit of light-hearted satire rather than my misguided master plan but I’m glad you like the green sun and the name of the blog (because I really like those too) and I’m always happy to take on board the advice of someone who knows what they’re talking about – which you obviously do 😀


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