Today marks my 365th post in 365 days. I have managed to write a post every single day for an entire year. That I accomplished this by writing a lot of syllable-based poetry should not detract from the fact that it is, none-the-less, a stellar achievement. I deserve all the plaudits I’m inevitably going to…
A Sort Of Penultimate Post
Yesterday I posted a haiku that, as with all my haikus, failed to meet most of the criteria to qualify as a haiku, and might, instead, be more accurately described as a senryu. Indeed it might be even more accurate to describe it as a small collection of words. Irrespective of its credentials, however, the…
A Haiku To Announce A Temporary (Though Worryingly Non-Specific) Cessation Of Haikus On This Blog
I confirm today A welcome period of Haiku amnesty
A Post That Might Be About Something But Probably Isn’t
Sometimes on my way to work I go for breakfast at a place the kids tend to call a ‘Drive Through’ and the really cool kids call a ‘Drive Thru’. Although the specific fast-food chain is irrelevant, I live in the UK, and as far as I am aware there is only one company, the…
A Haiku That Is Not Entirely Sure What Day It Is
Written yesterday In anticipation of Posting tomorrow
A Haiku That Fully Embraces Its Mediocrity
This haiku is ok For all it could be better It could still be worse
A Haiku That Regrets It Is Not A Better Haiku
The noble haiku Can be truly elegant When done properly
The Key Ingredients To A Good Blog Post
James Proclaims is made with the finest selection of high-quality verbs and suffixes, punctuated by a delicate array of commas, colons and apostrophes. We don’t use any artificial adjectives in any of our posts and all of our exclamations are free-range. James Proclaims can be enjoyed as part of a balanced reading diet but is…
An Exclusive Offer From James Proclaims
With the end of lockdown in sight it’s time to start making plans and at James Proclaims, we would like to help you to to make the most of the New Normal, with exclusive access to our new outdoor blogging club. Take advantage of our pre-opening offer and get your first month free and no joining…
The James Proclaims Brand Guarantee
RETURN POLICYLast updated March 14, 2021 Thank you for choosing to read this post. We are very proud of our posts here at James Proclaims and hope you are happy with your choice of reading material. However, if you are not completely satisfied with your purchase for any reason, you may return it to us for a…
A Formal Apology From James Proclaims
We at James Proclaims fully recognise our role in the continuing propagation of low-quality, ill-informed content that continues to plague the blogosphere. In particular, we cannot ignore our contribution to the unhelpful trend of publishing mediocre, and occasionally very bad poetry. Our continuing barbarism of the once elegant Haiku form is particularly troubling and does…
A Haiku That Is Not Really A Haiku And Knows It Is Not A Haiku
There is no haiku Though there is the illusion Of a haiku here
James Explains The Markle Debarcle
‘That interview’ aired on UK television on Monday evening, so I’ve left it rather late to share my views on the whole Harry and Meghan saga. But as everyone still seems to be banging on about it, I though I might as well use it to generate some additional content for my blog. I must…
Little Proclaims Takes The Wheel
As I appear to still be plagued by writer’s block, I thought I’d let my two-year-old daughter, known to her fans as Little Proclaims, take responsibility for today’s post. Of course regular readers will be more familiar with her contributions to the art world, back when I used to post her drawings on this blog…
Another Rhyme That Serves A Purpose
I don’t know if the problem is that I’m uninspired Or if it’s just a case that I’m a little overtired But lately I’ve been struggling to locate my muse I’ve checked and it’s not hiding in either of my shoes I’m sure that other bloggers have experienced my plight It’s hard to keep on…
A Blog Post That Is Today’s Blog Post Unless You Are Reading It On A Different Day
It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this. Little Proclaims is having a nap, Mrs Proclaims is working on her PhD and I am steadfastly ignoring a report I am supposed to be writing for work. To be fair the report is mostly done, and to be even fairer, no-one is ever actually going to read…
A Rhyme That Serves A Purpose
When you are a blogger That is plagued by writer’s block And you’re trying to post daily And you’re up against the clock It’s better not to worry That you’re running out of time Instead just phone it in With a facile little rhyme
A Token Post
Hello dear readers and welcome back to the multi-award nominated blog, James Proclaims. Since the end of March 2020 I have been posting on a daily basis but I almost didn’t manage to post anything today. As it is I’m already over twelve hours late in posting this, given that my usual arbitrary blogging time…
A Haiku That Is True But Worryingly Non-Committal And Potentially Misleading
If I only write A single haiku this week It will be this one
A Churlish Celebration Of World Book Day
Happy World Book Day everyone! Because if you live in the UK, then today is World Book Day. If you live somewhere else then it probably isn’t. Because we ‘celebrate’ World Book Day on a different day to the rest of the world. Which means that we should call it ‘UK Book Day’. But we…
A Poem About How The Beginning Of March Is Never Quite As Nice, Weather-wise, As We Expect It To Be
Though March is but a few days old I’m disappointed, (truth be told) That most days are still quite cold Unlike the dream that I was sold I was taught that March was Spring Newly returned birds would sing And clement weather they would bring While everyone produced offspring Instead as I awake each day…
A Rapid And Somewhat Cynical Rhyme About The Ending Of Covid Restrictions In The UK (That May Or May Not Be Happening In The Near Future)
You could say 2021 Has not really been much fun But as we’re on month number three It won’t be long until we’re free For now that spring has almost sprung We will soon all be back among People that we’ve had to avoid As our social lives were destroyed By a globalish pandemic That…
Of Leeks, Daffodils, Cakes And Superheroes
Yesterday, I wrote a post in which I made claims to be Welsh, so it would seem negligent not to acknowledge that today is St David’s Day, given that St David is the patron saint of Wales. I don’t know much about St David himself, but I’m not sure that’s really the point of a…
Come On Wales!
I am Welsh. Sort of. I was actually born in England, to an English mother and a sort of Indian father. My father was born in India, but moved to the UK when he was four years old. He grew up in England but moved to Wales when he was eighteen to go to university…
A Post That May Leave You Cold
These days I generally schedule my posts in advance, even the bad poetry, which means that I am guilty of committing those crimes against literature in cold blood. But this morning I woke up and realised I had no post scheduled. So this post is as close to a ‘live performance’ as I can get…
A Haiku To Ironically Celebrate The Fact That It Has Been A While Since I Last Wrote A Haiku After Going Through A Phase Of Writing Too Many Haikus
My name is James and I’m a haiku-aholic Having a relapse
A Found Poem From A Frustrating Ten Minutes Waiting For A Virtual Meeting To Begin
Occasionally I like to put together a ‘Found Poem’ based on things that other people have written or said. In this case it was something I heard while waiting to join quite an important meeting that I was dreading. It turned out not to be as bad as I feared it would but in those…
Free Verse That Is Quite Annoying
I’m likely to be annoyed today So I wrote this yesterday When I was only expecting to be annoyed And not yet actually annoyed Perhaps the annoying thing won’t be quite so annoying But it seems likely that it will be quite annoying So I thought I’d write this annoying post In anticipation of feeling…
Doing Precisely What We’ve Done 18 Times Before Is Exactly The Last Thing They’ll Expect Us To Do This Time
As I write this it is Monday morning, and we’ve yet to formally hear any details of Boris Johnson’s ‘roadmap’ to lifting lockdown. He’s going to speak later. But details have been leaked. And those details look suspiciously like the ‘roadmap’ out of lockdown 1. Is it unfair of me to compare our very real…
A Relatively Charming Post About Not Much At All
As I write this, it is 8:30 on Sunday morning, though it will be Monday by the time this reaches either of my regular readers. Thus far today I have completed a fairly taxing workout that mostly comprised of doing lots of press ups (to anyone from outside of the UK, the ‘press up’ is…
A Limerick That Is Self-Deprecating On One Level But Also A Bit Sarcastic On Another Level
My intellectual property Is not worth that much at all to me In the light of its theft I would not be bereft It’s already overpriced at ‘free’
