As it is January and thus still very much a time for making unrealistic pledges, I’m still fairly confident that I’m going to turn around my 2022 blogging slump and actually post quite regularly in 2023. However, my ambitions are tempered with a little reality – gone are the days of posting daily as I…
Tag: pandemic
The Desultory James Proclaims New Year’s Eve Review Of The Year That Was
It is New Year’s Eve and as such I am bound by the international blogging code of ethics to review the year that is about to end. The year in question is 2022, which, not being a leap year, was made up of 365 days. Some of those days were quite interesting. Some were not…
A Post That Is And Also Isn’t
I appear to have unintentionally had another hiatus on my blog. Having posted daily throughout November and December, I started January in a similar vein, but, as has oft been my way, once I missed a day, I just stopped entirely. I seem to be very much a boom or bust blogger. It’s not like…
Free Verse About Policies
It’s an old adage That honesty is the best policy But one doesn’t often find honesty In many policies One may find statements With synonyms of honestyAmbitions of honesty And a general sense of honestyWithin the document But by and large When contrasting Policy and practice The policy will Generally be found To be dishonest…
Free Verse About Pandemics
It turns out That pandemics are not just about Highly infectious diseases They are also about Competency Logistics And cooperation Either exemplary Or a lack thereof And they are about values Sometimes shared Often not And about divisions in society Some previously unseen Others exacerbated And as they go on And on And on They…
The Formulaic James Proclaims New Year’s Eve Review Of The Year That Was
It’s New Years Eve and tradition dictates that I must review the year gone by for fear that no-one else will think to do it and the year would end unreviewed. Which would be a disaster. This year, the year that will be being reviewed is 2021. The best thing about 2021 was that it…
A Limerick That Mistakenly Blames A General Sense Of Discontentment On An Abstract Measure Of Time
Can it still be 2021? It’s almost but not quite yet done ‘Twas no 2020 But still I’ve had plenty And I hope that next year is more fun
Bonus Boxing Day
Yesterday was Boxing Day, but today is also Boxing Day. Although perhaps there is no such thing as Boxing Day. It depends on where you are in the world I suppose. I don’t think Boxing Day shares the same international reknown as Christmas Day. And my blog, insofar as it has a readership (which is…
The Seventh Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
And so this is ChristmasAnd what have you done?Probably not very muchA new variant’s just begun. Yes it’s another Covid Christmas. I’m all for Christmas traditions, but I’m not sure I’m a massive fan of this one. Still, it’s not like I had huge plans this year. I was always intending to stay at home…
Another Saturday Chez Proclaims
When last I troubled the blogoshpere, it was at the end of a horrible weekend which saw Little Proclaims briefly hospitalised and the entire Proclaims family housebound while she recovered from her ailments and I grappled with a deadline for a course that it was in my professional interests to complete but in which I…
A Post About Not Blogging With A Brief Interlude About Vaccines
As I write this, it has been just under a month since I last posted anything on this blog. By the time this actually hits the blogosphere, it will have been just over a month. I’m writing this on Friday but I intend for my ‘comeback’ to be on Monday. According to the Gods of…
A Rapid And Somewhat Cynical Rhyme About The Ending Of Covid Restrictions In The UK (That May Or May Not Be Happening In The Near Future)
You could say 2021 Has not really been much fun But as we’re on month number three It won’t be long until we’re free For now that spring has almost sprung We will soon all be back among People that we’ve had to avoid As our social lives were destroyed By a globalish pandemic That…
Doing Precisely What We’ve Done 18 Times Before Is Exactly The Last Thing They’ll Expect Us To Do This Time
As I write this it is Monday morning, and we’ve yet to formally hear any details of Boris Johnson’s ‘roadmap’ to lifting lockdown. He’s going to speak later. But details have been leaked. And those details look suspiciously like the ‘roadmap’ out of lockdown 1. Is it unfair of me to compare our very real…
A Rapid Rhyme That Continues A Recent Theme About Pandemic Overeating
When I can’t cope I look for hope In empty calories In salted snacks and melted cheese Food gives relief Though not without griefFor the less I abstain The more weight I gainAnd perhaps even worse The comfort’s inverse The more I find in chow The less my trousers offer now
A Rapid Rhyme About Poor Lifestyle Choices For Which I’m Making The Current Pandemic A Scapegoat
Oh we’re still in lockdown three Yearning to be free But you won’t find me whinging Instead I’ve started binging Boxsets, booze and food Whatever takes my mood I’m looking quite a state I’m more than overweight But it’s hard to really care If I’m not going anywhere And since I’m staying here I’ll have…
Another Limerick That Was More About Me Trying To Make Something Rhyme With The Town Of Reading Than Any Serious Attempt To Say Anything Of Value. Also It Is Still Not Autobiographical
Once a young man travelled to Reading He didn’t know where he was heading He was aiming for Slough But he won’t go there nowCos he’s far too late for his wedding
A Limerick That Was More About Me Trying To Make Something Rhyme With The Town Of Reading Than Any Serious Commentary On The Current Pandemic. Also It Is Not Autobiographical
There was a young man from Reading Who was worried about viruses spreading The television news Only served to confuse Now he was also scared of viral shedding
A Short Poem About Vaccines
Despite recent tub-thumping about vaccine supplies I for one have not taken my eyes off the prize For when this will be over, we are all none the wiser So I’ll forego my AstraZeneca and hang on for a Pfizer
Snow Delightful
“Do you want to build a snowman?” a young Anna sings plaintively to her older sister, Elsa, secure in the knowledge that this offer will be rejected as it always is. I know this because Little Proclaims, my two-year-old daughter, is a fan of the hit Disney movie Frozen. Well, less a fan of the…
A Haiku About How I Miss The Administrative Red Tape Of Having To Book A Room In Order To Have A Meeting
Did we really have This many meetings back when Meetings needed rooms?
Fifty Shades Of Blue
According to some, today is Blue Monday. ‘Blue Monday’ is the pseudoscientific name often attributed to the third Monday in January, which is purported to be the most depressing day of the year. Although obviously complete nonsense, it does hold up to a small amount of scrutiny – Christmas is now long forgotten but the…
A Haiku That Offers Unhelpful Reassurance About The Current State Of Everything
Please do not worry I know the world seems broken But it always was
James Explains The Rules For ‘Lockdown 3’
We’re roughly a week into to what the cool kids are calling ‘Lockdown 3’ in England and there appears to be continuing confusion about what is allowed and what is, in fact, not allowed. Which is in itself confusing because everyone fully understood all of the rules during the last two lockdowns. Except for the…
Lockdown 3 – The Miracle Of Science
And so here we are in another lockdown. It is officially ‘Lockdown 3’ in England, and we must distinguish between the UK and England, because other parts of the UK have been doing things differently, but with, it must be said, similar levels of success. Which is to say hardly any success at all. ‘Lockdown…
2020 Foresight
The return to work after Christmas is always a difficult one. January is not the best of months anyway, what with all the obligatory self-improvement and cold weather, and having to work seems to just be adding insult to injury. January 2021 comes with some bonus challenges of course, thanks to the ongoing pandemic which,…
The Inevitable James Proclaims New Year’s Eve Review Of The Year That Was
Ever since I started this blog, back in 2015, I’ve posted a sort of ‘review of the year’ on the 31st of December. It’s the kind of innovative idea that has made James Proclaims the ‘go-to’ blog for literally tens of people the world over for several years now. I’m surprised nobody else does it…
The Sixth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
Merry Christmas! Sorry, my mistake. I forgot that Christmas had been cancelled this year. Being an established misanthrope I would have no doubt chosen to spend today with my wife and child and absolutely no-one else, regardless of any pandemics, so here at Proclaims Towers it really is starting to look a lot like Christmas.…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Preamble
As November 2020 draws to a close, it’s fair to say that even by the pretty low standards normally set by the eleventh month of the year, it has not been an especially enjoyable 30 days. This may well be in keeping with 2020 as a whole, which has largely been a year of fear,…
A Haiku That Recycles A Joke About An Emotional Wedding Cake In Order To Comment On The UK Government’s Latest Covid Strategy
Of course we all knew That the lockdown in England Would end in tiers
A Post That Is Sort Of About Halloween
Today is Halloween. I don’t much care about Halloween most years, so it seems unlikely that I will that bothered about it this year. But the world is quite a scary place at the moment. I don’t know if that makes Halloween more or less worthwhile. We’ve basically been experiencing the apocalypse since the end…
James Predicts The Future
It’s not like me to use misleading titles for my posts. Apart from when it is. And I fear I may have done just that today. Because this post is not going to be me attempting to predict the future in a humorous way, which is probably what the title implies. Nor will it be…
James Proclaims! 