Category: Humour
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Recently I ordered a pair of trousers from a well-known online retailer. I order lots of stuff online but very rarely trousers. Normally I like…
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Brian had been on ‘shredding’ duties for over a week. It had just been him, the machine in a tiny room on the seventh floor,…
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Mightier than the sword Is the noble pen An idea that is flawed Every now and then For I’d rather have a blade If attacked…
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As I write this I’m half aware of some brightly coloured fruit and vegetables dancing in front of me. I’ve checked the ingredients of the…
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It’s easy to be cynical about the Olympics if you want to be. Stories of drug cheats, athletes behaving badly, and excessively sycophantic media…
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Occasionally I like to put together a medley of things other people wrote into what is commonly known as a ‘Found Poem’. I didn’t invent…
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There are no flies on me. Literally. There were yesterday though. It’s unseasonably hot in the UK at the moment. I mean it’s summer so…
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Watching Olympians Achieving their feats Can be inspirational And truly motivational Maybe in time I’ll use this inspiration To positive Life-changing Effect I’ll pull on…
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If eating ice-cream Was an Olympic event I’d be in Rio
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Did I really just drink all that wine? Aside from nausea, I’m still feeling fine Now the Bordeaux has gone Bring the next bottle on…
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Jeff emptied the contents of his right trouser pocket onto the cheap, faux-pine, laminate and chipboard, coffee table. Spread out before him were a battered…
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A few days ago Mrs Proclaims and I returned from our summer holiday. On the whole it was a thoroughly pleasant city break that was,…
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Janice cut the chicken into strips and tossed them into the frying pan, along with the onions and peppers she had prepared earlier. Adding a…
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I sit in the dark Because turning on the lights Requires me to get out of my chair Which seems like a lot of effort…
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In the post Brexit bewilderment, many people looked to sport to lighten the mood. It’s pretty clear that the UK is currently in a political…
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Despite recent evidence to the contrary, this blog is not meant to be about political commentary. It’s meant to be a whimsical collection of bad…
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The dust is starting to settle and apparently the apocalypse hasn’t happened. Yet. But the post-Brexit UK does feel different and none of us are…
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“The terrible irony is that the vast majority of the people who voted to leave are the ones who will be most adversely affected. The…
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I haven’t blogged for ten days or so. It’s not been for a lack of inspiration but I’ve been quite busy for the last week…
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Sometimes I look like I’m working hard Paying each task I have due regard But an observant view Will reveal it’s not true My work…
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Procrastination A fine way to pass the time When you have no time
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Cleaning is hard work Revolutionise your life Choose squalor instead
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Sunshine on Tuesday Often serves to remind me How much I hate work
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Avoided fines by Renewing library books I will never read
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Although the week has taken its toll I have chilled beer and snacks in a bowl It is time to unwind But I can’t seem…
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Pigeon in the sky Not a poet, nonetheless Makes a fine high coo
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Gym membership is Revolutionizing my life For the wrong reasons
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In January 2007 I got locked in a toilet. Not an actual toilet, that would be all kinds of weird. I’ve never seen fit…
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It’s my Blogiversary Or should it be blogoversary? A google search suggests that either spelling is an acceptable way of describing the anniversary of the…
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Sometimes when I am ill I opt to take a pill To alleviate my suffering But I try not to read Or indeed pay any…
James Proclaims! 