Category: Humour
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Saturday lunchtimes are often a conundrum for Mrs Proclaims and I. Most meal times are pretty regulated these days due to a highly efficient grocery-shopping…
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Welcome to another instalment of Artist’s Corner. After a slightly surreal couple of weeks I decided to go in a different direction this week and drew…
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I’ve got cold feet Less because I want to withdraw From an undertaking To which I have Perhaps ill-advisedly Committed And more I think Because…
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Just over a year ago my phone decided to spontaneously combust. Up until that point it had been a functional but nonetheless unglamorous model of…
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Ok, if I’m brutally honest, this is just a rubbish picture of a singing pig that I drew a few weeks ago, while generating ideas…
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Oh dirty mug Tea-stained and forlorn How long have you sat there Unwashed Perchance unloved? And though my need is great For a beverage warm…
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It’s a popular maxim that ‘the best things in life are free’. I’m less than convinced that’s the case. I’m not sure that there’s much…
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Well technically he’s a ‘Gangster Cauliflower Floret’. But if this dude wants to drop the ‘floret’ and just go with ‘Gangster Cauliflower’ then who are…
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Oh nasal spray though art So wonderful to me I take you at day’s start To ease my allergy And with your magic mists I…
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I’m writing this in what can only be described as a foul mood. Christmas now seems but a distant memory and, although I’m sure I…
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Last week I was lamenting the fact that I actively got worse at blogging in 2016 when compared to 2015. And although I rather churlishly…
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The first month of the year is not great After Christmas we’re all overweight And we try to be good Cos we know that we…
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As of tomorrow morning the Christmas holidays are officially over. In fact the tree and decorations are coming down today. I know that Twelfth Night…
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Well here we are in 2017. Lots of people are glad to see the back of 2016 but I think it’s a little harsh to…
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Last year I wrote a review of 2015 on the 31st December so it seems only fitting that I review 2016 today. Except that I’d…
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This time last year I got my first ever annual blog report from WordPress. I didn’t ask for it but they sent it anyway. And…
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Perhaps I have too little will But I will have another refill For though Christmas has passed The red wine seems to last And I’m…
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It is hard to believe but it’s true There is still so much food to get through It’s delightful to taste Can’t let it go…
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The trouble with ‘Twixmas’, the period between Christmas and New Year, is it’s pretty hard to judge exactly how to play things ‘health wise’. In…
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As I acknowledged in last year’s Boxing Day post, the day after Christmas has nothing to do with pugilism. Nonetheless, this morning I woke up…
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As Noddy Holder off of Slade shouts whenever anyone cares to listen: IT’S CHRISTMAS! Noddy likes Christmas and if I’d written and performed one of…
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I’m not sure if I’m going to make the review of my chocolate advent calendar an annual event. However, I did do it last Christmas…
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And so this is Christmas – almost. Around this time every year I try and cram watching as many Christmas films as I can before…
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I didn’t start this blog to discuss politics. I know nothing about politics really. Aside from what you’d expect a really intelligent person to know.…
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Four and half months on and Brexit is still very much the issue ‘du jour’ on this side of the Atlantic. Other things have, of…
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It’s been something like six and half weeks since I last blogged. Which is quite a long time. The longest I’ve ever gone AWOL from…
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I should improve my diet I’d probably lose some weight I might look slightly better Could end up feeling great I don’t lack the will…
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When self-improvement Seems a bit too difficult Shamelessly give up
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Much as it pains me to admit it, I’m already too old to ‘live fast and die young’. It’s no longer a goal I can…
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If I had three wishes I’d really like to believe I’d wish for peace on Earth All suffering, I’d relieve But if I’m really honest…
James Proclaims! 