No-one enjoys a bit of washboard percussion more than I. But apparently the washboard wasn’t created as a musical instrument. It’s actually, believe it or not, a device for doing laundry, but the invention of the washing machine has rendered it all but redundant in this capacity. The world is full of such labour-saving devices.…
Category: Humour
Buffet Bliss
If you ask me what my favourite food is, on any given day I would probably give you a different answer. It’s really down to what mood I’m in at that particular moment. I’m not really that discerning. The French would definitely not describe me as a gourmet (dictionary definition – a person who cultivates…
Angry Artists
There’s this belief that anger and adversity produces the best art. I’m not certain who actually believes it, but it does seem to be a truism of sorts that is rarely challenged. I have never achieved success in any of the arts apart from coming second in a short story competition of some repute when…
Sunday Sorrows
When the Antique Roadshow theme song blasts out of my television I feel sick to my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against the programme. I don’t actually watch it with any regularity but if I do, it’s because I’m procrastinating in front of the television rather than doing something more useful. But…
Breakfast Is Brilliant
It’s always good to throw in an Oscar Wilde quote, as evidence of one’s own wit. It’s a strange vicarious thrill. I’m quoting Oscar Wilde, therefore I’m equally as droll as the celebrated 19th century playwright. On that basis, and to prove my own wittiness, I shall quote him now. “Only dull people are brilliant…
Jammy James
Once again I find myself to be the last person in the building as my colleagues have all departed for the day. Much paperwork to catch up on, and emails to reply to, have delayed my escape. The pain has been somewhat eased, however, upon inspection of the old ‘Celebrations’ tub from Christmas, that sits…
Mistaken Machine
About to leave work at the end of a frankly mental day, my foot was half out of the door when I heard the phone ring in the office. As the last person in the building, I could have chosen to ignore the call and let the machine get it, but I decided to do…
Darth by Chocolate
I love Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back is probably my favourite film of all time, but I basically love all of the films, even though I am fully aware that the ‘prequel’ trilogy, particularly ‘The Phantom Menace’ are objectively quite bad. I also love Star Wars Merchandise. I had loads of toys when I…
James Proclaims! 