Category: Humour
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Pulling my socks up Only helped me to achieve Slightly higher socks
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Some days when I get out of my bed I cannot seem to switch on my head Autopilot is on Common sense is long gone…
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Rulers of the world Can often be too rigid Tape is flexible
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Piles of paper increasing in height Are beginning to block out the light If my desk is a mess It’s a clear sign of stress…
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Mrs Proclaims and I live in quite a nice bit of town. We didn’t realise it was an especially nice bit of town when we…
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I love the weekend But it would improve without Sunday evening
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I’m sorry that I didn’t Read that report you wrote In terms of how to spend last night It didn’t get my vote I had…
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With ever-changing specifications, there is an increasing tendency to make exam questions more pertinent to real life. Sensing an opportunity to make my fortune, I’m…
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Think outside the box Do something differently Fail miserably
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It’s important to understand If I complain about work It’s not that I hate my job And I’m really not one to shirk
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Online retail is A more convenient route To buyer’s remorse
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Today is apparently a big day for the UK in terms of our relationship with the rest of Europe. Our beloved Prime Minister, and genuine…
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Hello dear reader and welcome back to James Proclaims. You catch me in the middle of a construction project. I’m currently building a chest of…
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I do most of my shopping online. I’m not especially a cliché of masculinity that detests the idea of actually going into shops. I like going…
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Why do I avoid The things that are good for me In favour of the things that are bad? I know I’m happier When I’m…
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Overindulging Achieving very little Perfect Friday night
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Overslept, so choice Between coffee and shower Easy choice to make
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Oh deadline, I remember when you were just a speck In the professor’s eye No more threatening Than an ant And look at you now…
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Though I allude to it rarely, I have stated elsewhere on this site that I am, by profession, a teacher. I don’t like to mention…
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A day after posting a poem that laments the fact that I’m too busy to blog, I find myself shirking my not inconsiderable workload in…
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I’m busy now Which is a pain It means I must break From blogging again It can’t be helped Though it is a bore But…
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Less than half way there At sunrise but by sunset Less than half to go
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Tradition dictates that because it’s the beginning of a new year, I must make lots of pledges to change my way of life, even though…
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Well it’s the last day of 2015 and that calls for some kind of review of the events of the past 12 months. I’m probably…
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I wasn’t going to post anything today. I haven’t really got anything to write about. I’m still very much in the weird world of Twixmas,…
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Days after the day after Christmas Have a tendency to underwhelm The period that’s now known as Twixmas Can be rather a confusing realm
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Boxing Day, as it turns out, has very little to do with pugilism. This message did not get through, perhaps, to the early bird consumers…
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‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring… Except for an overweight bloke, dressed in red and filling…
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Every year, without fail, my mum buys me a chocolate advent calendar. I would genuinely be upset if she didn’t. Yes I’m 36 years old…
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Neither Mrs Proclaims nor I are particularly good at remembering to send Christmas cards. In the past we have bought cards to send, made a…
James Proclaims! 