‘James Proclaims’ Needs You!

James Proclaims (6)

Hello dear readers!

There has been talk of late about the tagline of this blog. Most of this talk has come from me. It’s of little interest to the vast majority of people.

Nonetheless, the ‘catchiness’ of the tagline has been brought into question. The current tagline is:

The irreverent and irrelevant ramblings
of a man who hasn’t really got anything to say,
but is going to say it anyway…’
Continue reading ‘James Proclaims’ Needs You!

More About Me

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In a controversial move,  I’ve decided to redo Blogging 101 – the online blogging course run by WordPress.

If you’re a longstanding reader (if you can be a longstanding reader of a blog which is still less than three months old), you’ll know that I did Blogging 101 in June. You’ll know because I wrote about every single task in painstaking detail, whether the task required me to or not. The ‘hilarious’ results of this can be found here. Continue reading More About Me

Arise Sir Blogger

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Well it’s day 15 of blogging 101 and we’ve made it. Just one more task to complete and I can become an officially licensed blogger.

So what have I learnt?

Well the main lesson would probably be that blogging about blogging, even when you’re doing it ironically, has a limited appeal.

I’d like to thanks those of you that have stuck with me this far. I know it hasn’t been easy…

I’d also like to congratulate all of my fellow Blogging 101ers. I hope we can stay in touch.

Maybe we could have some kind reunion event next year? Continue reading Arise Sir Blogger

You Need This Stuff

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It’s been a refreshing two days of not gently mocking the rudimentary online learning programme that is ‘Blogging 101’, yet my last two posts were, in fact, assignments for said course. Some might say that my writing is more appealing when it’s not specifically on the topic of blogging. To those people I say…

…well, you probably do have a point. Continue reading You Need This Stuff

The Room is Booked Until Twelve

Unusually for me, the following is a short piece of fiction. It was written in response to this week’s Literary Lion prompt – Escape.

The Room is Booked Until Twelve

Brian drained the last of his tea and looked desirously at the chocolate hobnobs that were, infuriatingly, just out of reach.

Geoff leaned over and grabbed one, almost as if to rub it in.

The ‘minute hand’ continued its leisurely passage towards the top of the clock where the ‘hour hand’ was waiting impatiently.

Geoff continued with point five of the agenda, reading the minutiae of the Senior Management Team’s latest thinking on productivity, all through mouthfuls of chocolatey-oaty goodness. Continue reading The Room is Booked Until Twelve

Say Hello To My Little Friend

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This is Humpty.


You might know him better as Mr Dumpty.

But I call him Humpty, because we’re on first name terms.

Humpty and I have been friends since I was but a small child. Humpty was made by my amazingly talented aunt.

My Humpty is not the original Humpty. The original Humpty was an egg, whereas my Humpty is an egg-shaped soft toy made of wool. My Humpty is better because when he sits on a wall, even if he subsequently has a great fall, he doesn’t need any of the king’s horses or indeed any of the king’s men to put him together again. Continue reading Say Hello To My Little Friend

Imagine This Title Was Something Clever About Blogging

James Proclaims (4)

It’s the final week of ‘Blogging 101’. Five more days of following an entirely optional course about blogging and being unnecessarily sarcastic about the whole process…

Or maybe not…

Maybe the final week is the time to get serious.

I don’t want to look back and regret a missed opportunity when they decide on the classification of my ‘Blogging 101’ certificate.

What do you mean I don’t get a certificate? Why else would anyone do this? Not for the ‘Blogging 101’ badge surely? Cos they give you that at the start of the course… Continue reading Imagine This Title Was Something Clever About Blogging

All Blog And No Play…

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According to my wife, my posts are becoming a bit niche…

It’s true that ten days of blogging about blogging can take its toll. I need a rest from all of this. Fortunately it’s Friday and therefore the weekend, so for the next two days I can blog about all the cool stuff I do…



Oh dear, I’ve spent so much of the last few weeks blogging that I’ve stopped doing anything interesting with my life.

I probably should rectify that.

I know, I’ll write this last night and then I can have tonight off to do something fun. Continue reading All Blog And No Play…

Tears Of A Clown

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I didn’t think this through at all.

I genuinely signed up for ‘Blogging 101’ to make this a better blog, but then I got all cocky and ‘clever’ and decided that, rather than discreetly following the tasks, I’d be all impudent and witty and openly mock the course like the class clown I always yearned to be…

Oh it got some laughs at the beginning. A few of my ‘class mates’ even joined in. It was all a bit of fun. Continue reading Tears Of A Clown