As it is the third Monday in January, it is officially and indisputably Blue Monday – the most depressing day of the year. The rationale for attributing this label to an otherwise unassuming Monday was scientifically proven by a travel company in 2005, who, far from trying to sell more package holidays, were simply trying…
Tag: Chocolate
A Post Designed To Encourage You To Wish Me Happy Birthday
Happy Easter everyone! Also Happy Birthday, if it is also your birthday. It is my birthday. So Happy Birthday to me! Having a birthday which falls on Easter Sunday is not like having a birthday which falls on Christmas. Mainly because it doesn’t happen every year, but also because people don’t conflate Easter eggs and…
Another Twixmas Poem
The Christmas presents have long been unwrapped And the tree has seen better days But still the Twixmas party goes onThough it all seems a bit of a haze I’m not even sure what day it is Or when I last left this room I’ve eaten my own weight in chocolate But there are more…
A Tanka About The Perks Of Responsible Parenting
When my daughter asks For another chocolate I always say no Because like all good parents I’ve already scoffed the lot
James Complains About Seven Delicious Biscuits
I enjoy a good biscuit as much as anyone. Pre-pandemic, when I used to have to attend meetings in person, I always felt slightly less hostile towards the meeting organiser if there were biscuits available. Not that biscuits could ever truly redeem any meeting, but when they were available they could help to ease…
A Pun-ishing Eggs-ercise In Which I Shell Not Egg-Cell In Cracking Eggs-tremely Eggs-cellent Yolks
If the title of the post has brought you to here in the eggs-pectation that I’ll be cracking lots of egg-based puns then I’m sorry to disappoint, but I won’t be. Apart from in that sentence. Which I admit, looks a little misleading as disclaimers go. But, much as I enjoy a good egg-based pun…
Xmas Epilogue or Yuletide Eulogy
Today is January 6th and by any definition Christmas is now over. Except for all the masses of chocolate, wine and beer that appear to be in plentiful supply chez moi. This surplus is partly due to the fact that I was, for much of the festive period, quite unwell and indeed on medication, so…
Forlornly Fatigued
Sometimes when I feel tired I’m not really that nice And it’s better to avoid me Or make interactions more concise I don’t mean to be so grumpy Like a bear with a sore head But I’m not very good at coping When I spend too little time in bed I’ll be much better tomorrow…
Where Did All The Chocolate Go?
Where did all the chocolate go? I had so much last week But now I cannot find it No matter where I seek? It seems strange that it is gone There was a plentiful supply But it’s nowhere to be seen And I really don’t know why Ok I did eat some of it Back…
Calories Are Not Just For Christmas
It’s not that I’m sick of the festive fare But there still seems to be lots of it everywhere And it’s hard to stop eating high calorie treats When the cupboards are full of chocolates and sweets Willpower has never been a friend of mine If temptation is there then I’ll rarely decline And though…
Impractical But Delightful
I have marshmallow on my face Which is a mild disgrace Though it’s certainly not egg Your understanding I do beg For indeed they are a treat But Walnut Whips are hard to eat
Truffle Tribulations
Oh expensive box of chocolates I don’t know what to do You’re so very pricey I don’t think I should eat you I’m not sure that I’m worthy To enjoy your fancy flavours I’m not sophisticated I won’t take the time to savour The subtle combinations Is that ginger I can taste? I’m afraid the…
A Taxonomy of Chocolate Bars
If you’ve clicked on this expecting a well-thought out classification of all the different chocolate bars available in the UK then you’ll be sadly disappointed. Also, what is wrong with you? Seriously, who needs to know about chocolate bars to that extent? I mean I am reasonably well-versed in chocolate. I’m certainly no expert, but…
Scraping The Barrel
Is there any problem in the world that can’t be solved by a nice biscuit? Maybe a Chocolate-covered Digestive, or perhaps a Jammy Dodger? I mean obviously obesity. It stands to reason that you aren’t going to solve obesity by eating Shortbread. But, aside from that, is there any problem in the world that can’t…
Going Cold Turkey On The Cold Turkey
The trouble with ‘Twixmas’, the period between Christmas and New Year, is it’s pretty hard to judge exactly how to play things ‘health wise’. In many households there are still quite a lot of leftovers that ‘need’ to be eaten. Cold turkey would be a case in point. Turkey sandwiches for days after Christmas is…
James Reviews the 2016 Marks and Spencer Chocolate Advent Calendar
I’m not sure if I’m going to make the review of my chocolate advent calendar an annual event. However, I did do it last Christmas Eve and I seem to be doing it again this year so there’s every chance it’ll happen again next year. There has been a development on the chocolate advent calendar…
James Reviews the 2015 Marks and Spencer Chocolate Advent Calendar
Every year, without fail, my mum buys me a chocolate advent calendar. I would genuinely be upset if she didn’t. Yes I’m 36 years old but frankly if it’s wrong to have a chocolate advent calendar in your mid-thirties then I’m not sure I want to be right.
Darth by Chocolate
I love Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back is probably my favourite film of all time, but I basically love all of the films, even though I am fully aware that the ‘prequel’ trilogy, particularly ‘The Phantom Menace’ are objectively quite bad. I also love Star Wars Merchandise. I had loads of toys when I…
James Proclaims! 