Xmas Epilogue or Yuletide Eulogy

James Proclaims (4)


Today is January 6th and by any definition Christmas is now over. Except for all the masses of chocolate, wine and beer that appear to be in plentiful supply chez moi. This surplus is partly due to the fact that I was, for much of the festive period, quite unwell and indeed on medication, so I was less inclined to consume it all as readily as I might under normal circumstances. However, I did still consume a fair bit of chocolate and, once I’d finished with medication (circa New Year’s Eve), I also upped my alcohol intake so the remaining produce is partly still around because there was just a lot of it to begin with.

People that I know seem to be aware that I like all of the above consumables, probably  because I tell them this at every available opportunity. Consequently a lot of the gifts I receive tend to be of that ilk. And I receive a surprising amount of gifts for someone as curmudgeonly as I imagine myself to be.

It’s ok though; my New Year’s Resolutions, such as they are, did not include going on a diet. It wouldn’t work. I like food and drink too much to ever really be committed to not consuming it.

I’d rather exercise, which I am, once again, doing quite a bit. I’m not quite up to swimming, which is currently my preferred method of calorie burning, because a recent spell of consecutive ear infections has resulted in medical advice to avoid the pool for a few weeks. But I am going to the gym, which is fine. Not fun, but functional. Functional has the word fun in it. But they are not synonyms.

Today, though, I return to work after having had the last two weeks off.

As previously mentioned, I was quite ill for the last fortnight. As were my wife and child. We did our best to enjoy the festivities but my home was not a happy place. Still, I’d rather relive the last two weeks in perpetuity than go back to work.

Insofar as I have to do any job, I don’t especially object to my job but in truth I can’t imagine a scenario whereby doing any job would be better than not having to work at all.

Some people suggest that not having a job would be boring.

Those people are wrong.

I could happily fill my time without the need for a job. I’m not saying I’d contribute anything valuable to society, but I would be happy enough.

But for some reason my mortgage provider expects me to make ‘regular payments’ to them just because they once lent me quite a lot of money so I could buy a house. It’s extortion really.

But as no-one is prepared to give me money for sitting around in my Christmas onesie, eating chocolate and watching bad movies, I have had to pack up said onesie for another year and don a shirt and tie again. And it’s not even the ‘fun’ Christmas-themed tie that I ‘hilariously’ wore the week before Christmas.

But the chocolate-eating will continue. I have enough to last me until Easter and we all know what happens then.

And alongside the new influx of chocolate, there will be an eggs-cuse to crack lots of egg-cellent yolks, which I shell be egg-static about.

Too soon?






  8 comments for “Xmas Epilogue or Yuletide Eulogy

  1. January 6, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    Not too soon at all. I have already starting laying in supplies of Easter Eggs (see what I did there!). They are still using that dreadful American chocolate recipe though, and I suspect that the weight may have been reduced again!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 6, 2020 at 4:51 pm

      The chocolate may not be egg-shell-ent but the filling is all white. Apart from the orange bit

      Liked by 1 person

  2. January 7, 2020 at 3:28 am

    Great post!

    And, except for the being sick part, I could have written it. I, too, though quite thankful for my job, would have no trouble finding things to do if I did not have to work. I would even be content to just sit around and do nothing. Stupid mortgages! And darn those necessities of life!

    Here’s hoping you have a wonderful 2020.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 7, 2020 at 4:42 am

      Thanks and yes, sitting around doing nothing would be eminently preferable to work. Yesterday I compromised and sat around doing nothing for most of the day while at work…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. January 7, 2020 at 10:33 am

    I am retired and have been so for a good many years, hence going back to work does not affect me. Glad to hear that you are over your ailment and so presumably are your family. I have a query about dewaxing your ears. I have had a similar problem for many years but now I have a long wait to be syringed! As for not going swimming, I used to go swimming regularly and having put olive oil in my ears to be syringed, I also went swimming and hey presto! No more blocked ears. I normally put drops of olive in my ears twice a day for a week prior to being syringed and so far it has worked very well. I do hope all goes well for you and the other Proclaims this year. Keep up the keeping fit!!


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: