It’s Sunday morning as I write this (though I think it will likely be Tuesday before I post it) and I am, to put it mildly, quite irritated. Possibly I’d go so far as to say I’m angry. And frankly my state of vexation is over something so petty that I should be able to…
Tag: coronavirus
A Rambling Post About Some Stuff And Also Some Other Stuff
Hello people who read this blog. I hope you are well. I’m writing this on Sunday evening, although this post, if I finish it, will not hit the blogosphere until Monday morning. Probably at 5am, as that seems to be the fairly arbitrary time I generally elect to schedule my posts to appear. I used…
James Predicts The Future
It’s not like me to use misleading titles for my posts. Apart from when it is. And I fear I may have done just that today. Because this post is not going to be me attempting to predict the future in a humorous way, which is probably what the title implies. Nor will it be…
Important Information For Our Readers
Dear Reader Thank you for your continued loyalty and support during these past months, which we know have been difficult ones. As life begins to return to some normality, we want to reassure you that we’re continuing to do everything we can to keep you safe while still providing the quality poetry and great art…
James Explains The Mask Situation In The UK
It is officially mandatory to wear face-masks in some places in the UK as of today. It was already mandatory to wear them on public transport but previously it was not necessary to wear them in shops. According to ‘man of the people’ Michael Gove, it was basic good manners to wear them in shops,…
Satisfactory Staycation
This year’s holiday Not the dream destination Easy journey though
Reflections On The Recent Lockdown By A Man Who Might Be Slightly Inebriated
It will be Monday when I post this but, as I write, it is Saturday afternoon. Little Proclaims and I spent much of this morning doing our usual weekend daddy-daughter activities, which mostly consists of feeding ducks and jumping in puddles. I join in with the duck/goose/swan feeding as Little Proclaims, while content to hold…
James Explains Independence Day
Happy 4th July everyone! Today is officially Independence Day in the UK! What’s that? July 4th is Independence Day in the United States? No, that can’t be right. Unless you mean the time that Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved the world from aliens in 1996? Because I’m pretty sure that was a movie. And…
An Homage To The Now Departed Daily Briefing
Hello and welcome to today’s update We haven’t got anything new to say Nothing’s really changed since yesterday But it’s important, nonetheless That we update you anyway Otherwise you’ll realise That we haven’t got any idea what we’re doing We’d rather give the impression That we do know what we’re doing Even though we don’t…
Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean That You Should
Though virtual meetings are oft prone To provide many reasons to moan They may have to take place When there’s no face to face But don’t do Teams for two, use the phone
Renaissance
It has been a difficult time For everyone And the world might have changed now Beyond all recognition It is more than possible That things will never be the same And as a species we will have to adjust To adapt, to reframe, to reflect But out of the ashes of despair Opportunity rises like…
It Could Be Worse…
Staring at four walls I pity those who live in Triangle shaped homes
Welcome To The New Normal
Welcome to the new normal It’s a bit like the old normal But with a smidgen less freedom A tiny bit less choice And quite a lot less fun On the plus side though There are more queues And more joggers A lot more joggers And there is more than enough fear for everyone And…
James Interrogates ‘The Science’
Like many people I’ve been slightly perplexed by the way the British government has handled the ongoing pandemic. It’s not that I fundamentally disagree with anything the government is doing. I would like to disagree, but while I lack any remote understanding of what they are doing, I’m not sure I can disagree. Because to…
James Explains The Easing Of Lockdown
There were one or two suggestions after my post on Tuesday that I was somehow advocating irresponsible drinking with large numbers of other people in the park. So, I should probably clarify that that is not in line with current government advice. Current government advice is that you can get drunk anywhere you like, as…
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?
As is the case for most people, it has been a while since I had a haircut. Not that this is anything new, I’m more than a little familiar with the ‘unkempt’ look. It’s kind of my style really. Still, even by my standards I’m looking less kempt than usual. It doesn’t bother me, I…
James Explains ‘Common Sense’
As lockdown restrictions ease in England, despite an apparent lack of clear guidance on…well anything much, the British government has made it clear, on multiple occasions that people should use their ‘Common Sense’. But what it this thing they call ‘Common Sense’? And do we all have it? Or is it a bit like ‘The…
May The Soon Be With You
Without a shadow of a doubt, life on lockdown has hit other people harder than me. I am, under the circumstances, relatively lucky. I have a job that still needs me to work (I mean the work bit is mildly irritating but in the current climate, gainful employment seems to be a definite asset), I…
A Pun-ishing Eggs-ercise In Which I Shell Not Egg-Cell In Cracking Eggs-tremely Eggs-cellent Yolks
If the title of the post has brought you to here in the eggs-pectation that I’ll be cracking lots of egg-based puns then I’m sorry to disappoint, but I won’t be. Apart from in that sentence. Which I admit, looks a little misleading as disclaimers go. But, much as I enjoy a good egg-based pun…
Blowing Out The Birthday Blues For The Second Consecutive Year
Though I wrote very little on my blog in 2019, I did manage a post on my birthday. It was a post lamenting a fairly rubbish birthday. So, I had moderately high hopes that this year things would be marginally better. After all, this year my birthday fell on a Saturday and not just any…
Positively Pessimistic
Restriction to your home is not The worst kind of jail You can still pretend to work If you can access your email But it’s easy to find reasons To not be very cheerful When it seems that you’re increasingly Encouraged to be fearful It’s appears that times are dark And possibly quite bleak It’s…
Cautionary Tales
As the parent of a small child, I’m not unfamiliar with a children’s story or two. My daughter has a voracious appetite for literature. I mean quite literally, as I’ll often find her nibbling on a book. Although she does appear to be growing out of that phase and enjoying books for their content too.…
Pandemical Positives
No-one loves a pandemic more than me. Then again, no-one loves a pandemic less than me. Because, presumably, no-one loves a pandemic. Except possibly toilet-paper manufacturers. But, on the whole, it’s fair to say that this whole pandemic malarkey is pretty bad news. Nevertheless, if you can shake off the never-ending panic and crippling fear…
Much Like A Stopped Clock, He Was Right Occasionally. Although Not As Often As A Stopped Clock…
I used to have a boss. For the sake of anonymity, we’ll call him Brian. He wasn’t called Brian, but he wasn’t a bad guy and I’m about to do something of a character assassination on him. He deserves it for being a rubbish boss, but not for being a rubbish human. I mean, I…
Pandemically Proverbial
Home is where the heart is Which is useful because it’s also where the rest of me is All the time now And I like to be where my heart is I need my heart To stay alive Indeed I’m not quite sure how I managed to cope When I was allowed to leave my…
Acrosticly Viral
Commuting no more Online now the new norm Rapid spread of infection Outbreak causing a storm New rules for living Avoiding socialisation Virtually interacting Indoor isolation Rarely outdoors Under lockdown now Swearing out loud at the lack of loo roll
Don’t Panic!
In these unusual times, you do start to reassess your values and priorities and begin to focus on what’s really important. And for the people of Britain, what’s really important appears to be toilet paper. It’s one of the cornerstones of our national identity apparently. I had eschewed the supermarkets in recent days but ventured…
‘Working’ From Home
When last I blogged, I did so from my office in a very much still open, though poorly attended, school. That same day the government decided to close schools, although they did give us the remainder of the week to keep things ticking over, which was nice of them. It was not at all challenging…
Becoming The Hero I Was Born To Be
Despite the fact that we’re now all living in a world that is eerily reminiscent of the beginning of every Zombie movie ever, it’s nice to see that we British are displaying our usual ‘Dunkirk’ spirit. Obviously I wasn’t around at the time of Dunkirk, and my historical knowledge may be a little sketchy here,…
Issues With Tissues (And Other Toiletries)
The world has gone mad and I, apparently, have joined them. For today I visited no less than nine supermarkets in a bid to get supplies for the seemingly inevitable period of self-isolation that awaits me. I have no symptoms of COVID-19 at the time of writing, and indeed know of no-one personally who does.…
