This post is about football, so it would be remiss not to mention yesterday’s FIFA election, which Sepp Blatter won, essentially unopposed. Again.

This is despite much public outcry and allegations of corruption. This is the world governing body of a sport, is it not? Because it felt a bit like he had held onto power in an oppressed totalitarian state having fought off a rebel uprising. His victory speech was more than a little incoherent, I felt. But he did remind me an awful lot of Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars films.

Maybe that’s how he holds onto power. He’s actually a Sith Lord…

Anyway, it’s the FA Cup final today. It’s something of a marital cliché to suggest I’ll be watching it “if my other half lets me…” But then, she doesn’t really like football and I do, so out of courtesy I’m going to ask if she doesn’t mind ceding the television for the duration of the match. As I hardly ever ask, she’ll no doubt agree. We’re quite a functional couple in that respect.

I didn’t used to like football, because I’m not really very good at it. As a kid, I was always the last to get picked at games. Even One-legged Jake got picked ahead of me. Which was particularly embarrassing because he was my imaginary pirate friend…

Then again, he does now play for West Brom.

As I entered my late teens, I began to realise that being able to do something well is not a prerequisite for being a fan of watching other people do it. I’ve never been a particularly talented actor (though few can forget my turn as “First Bow Street Runner” in a school production of Oliver! back in the mid-nineties), but I enjoy watching talented actors perform. I can strum a few chords on the guitar, but that certainly isn’t a prerequisite for buying tickets to see The Arctic Monkeys.

Football is entertainment. And sometimes, it is exceptionally entertaining.

Who can forget the classic FA cup final of 2006, when Liverpool beat West Ham on penalties after each team scored three goals apiece during the game? Remember Stevie G’s thrilling equaliser in injury time?

Well, ok, I didn’t really see that one. I’d only just started going out with my other half at the time and I was still trying to impress her. Not watching the FA cup final was part of my wooing strategy. Clearly it worked, cos she married me. But I digress; the 2006 FA cup final is a fine example of an entertaining football match, even if I didn’t actually see it.

Of course, there are examples of boring football games, but then there are examples of really bad plays and films too—Baz Luhrmann’s Australia, anyone? That’s nearly three hours of my life I won’t be getting back.

I suppose football is more entertaining when you actually support one of the teams that are playing, but I think the FA cup final is one of those times when you can forego your usual loyalties and pick a team on the day. Today is Arsenal versus Aston Villa.

I’m going to be a Villa fan for the day, mostly because they’re the underdogs, but also because I’m in good company given that Prince William, Tom Hanks, and Ozzy Osbourne are all self-proclaimed Villa fans. I expect they’ll all be sitting together.

Another famous Villan is, of course, our beloved former Prime Minister David Cameron. He loves the Claret and Blues. Indeed, he loves Claret and Blue so much that he has affection for any team wearing those colours, which explains his accidental “West Ham” gaff during the election campaign.

I think people were overly harsh on him for that. He didn’t actually claim to support West Ham as such; he merely encouraged his audience to do so, and given that he was speaking in South London at the time, he was probably thinking of their geographical convenience. As I say, it’s the Claret and Blue that really matter to Cameron, and West Ham are London’s best-known team sporting those colours.

It’s certainly no reason not to vote for him or his party. I didn’t vote for his party because I fundamentally disagree with everything they stand for, which is a much more sensible rationale.

He was particularly mocked by Piers Morgan for the mistake. Piers Morgan is famously an Arsenal fan, which is another reason I’ll be supporting Villa today. I’d rather side with a Prime Minister I didn’t vote for than Piers Morgan.

Obviously, Piers is an easy figure to hate, but he’s also the kind of person to respond on Twitter to a slight like the one I’m making right now. And getting into a social media war of words with Piers Morgan is going to raise the profile of this blog immeasurably.

So come on, Piers, if you think you’re hard enough…