Even I Don’t Know What This Post Is About And I Wrote It

I’m in work as I write this.

Which might seem a bit naughty, because one should never use work time for blogging and I absolutely never would. It’s not ok to blog during work time.

The above paragraph was written on the basis that although there’s no chance my boss ever reads my blog, if she actually were to read it, I’m fairly sure she wouldn’t get past the first few sentences. Much like when she reads my emails. If she does indeed read them. Which doesn’t always appear to be the case.

Although I don’t make a habit of blogging in work time, my moral stance on blogging during work time is perhaps more liberal than the stance I took a mere 2 paragraphs ago. Frankly if my employer thinks it’s ok to expect me to complete paperwork in my own time then surely it’s ok to blog during work time.

But actually I don’t tend to blog during work time very often.

And I’m not doing that at the moment.

Although I am in work as I write this.

Because although I’m here, it isn’t technically ‘work time’. I don’t actually have to be here until the beginning of September and it’s the 18^th August as I write this, although as per my strict (when I remember to stick to it) blogging schedule, I won’t actually publish it until Monday 21^st August.

In fact I won’t even be in work on Monday because I’m visiting my parents that day.

So if you’re reading this on Monday I won’t be in work, but as I’m writing this, I am in work.

Unless you’re not reading this on Monday, because you’re one of those strange people who doesn’t wait for each and every one of my outpourings with a sense of anticipation akin to a small child (who’s behaved well) on Christmas Eve, and instead you’re one of those people that may dip into my blog from time-to-time if you’ve genuinely got nothing better to do and in fact you’re reading this post several days after I posted it – then I may or may not be in work.

But right now, on Friday the 18^th August at 11:54am, I am in work.

And I don’t have to be because I work in a school and the school is closed until the 4^th September (for staff) and the 7^th September for students.

Apparently on the 4^th, 5^th and 6^th we have staff training to look forward to and who doesn’t look forward to staff training?

Apart from everyone.

Actually I do quite like staff training when I’m the one delivering the training (which, without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I am considered vaguely important enough to be permitted to do once in a while) because I genuinely do love the sound of my own voice. Some people hate standing up in front of people, but I, while often painfully shy in most social situations, find the opportunity to talk at a lot of people who have no choice but to listen to me, strangely exhilarating. Last year I had a slot and I was hilarious, if I do say so myself. No-one else said it but I knew they thought it. My ‘Sesame Street’ material was particularly good. How do you get ‘Sesame Street’ jokes into a training PowerPoint on the 2015 Special Educational Needs and Disability Code of Practice? I’ll leave it to your imaginations, but needless to say it went down so well that I have used the same joke in at least three other presentations I have made since. It’s well worth catching my presentation if you get an opportunity. Which, unless you work in the same school as me, you definitely won’t. And that, frankly, is your loss. You should have made different career choices shouldn’t you?

We do have a high staff turnover though so if you’re interested in working in a fairly large secondary school in the South-East of England then let me know and I’ll put a word in for you.

Although I literally have no influence over anyone in charge of recruitment so that word will be ignored.

I haven’t been given a slot this year (to everyone’s regret) and instead I’ll have to sit through other people talking at me.

But that is a while off yet and today I definitely don’t have to be in work.

But I am.

For reasons that aren’t that interesting.

Unless you love paperwork.

Which I don’t. But I have lots to do.

So I’m here.

Writing a blog post three days early, about nothing, rather than completing paperwork.

Which may seem pointless.

But there is method in my madness.

For, as per many educational professionals, I have been away from work for a few weeks.

I have picked up and responded to a few emails during that time, but I haven’t actually physically been to work for almost a month.

And when you haven’t been to work for a while, the idea of going to work can be somewhat unappealing. For me it is, quite literally, horrendous.

Often times in the past, I have reached the end of the summer holidays and I have been utterly broken. Indeed sometimes the anticipation of going back to work is so bad that I spend the last two weeks of the holidays stressing about going back to work, instead of enjoying those two weeks. Which is irrational but nonetheless a truth that I think I am not alone in experiencing.

So to counter that I have come into work on a day that I don’t have to, to complete paperwork that I could just as easily complete at home.

And even though I’m not completing that paperwork right now, the important thing, psychologically, is that I’m here.

Because coming here was the difficult thing.

The paperwork can wait until I’m ready.

Which I totally will be the next time I come in.

Honestly.

This was, in no way, an exercise in procrastination.

This was time well spent.

I am not deluding myself.

Paperwork is fun.

I’m not crying as I write this.

Except for tears of joy.