Reflections On The Recent Lockdown By A Man Who Might Be Slightly Inebriated

James Proclaims (4)


It will be Monday when I post this but, as I write, it is Saturday afternoon. Little Proclaims and I spent much of this morning doing our usual weekend daddy-daughter activities, which mostly consists of feeding ducks and jumping in puddles. I join in with the duck/goose/swan feeding as Little Proclaims, while content to hold a piece of stale bread and shout at the associated waterfowl, is rather less than proactive in actually dispensing the bread to the beneficiaries. I tend not, as a rule, to jump in puddles due to not possessing the appropriate footwear. And not being a toddler. It’s more about the footwear though…

As of the 4th July we have, of course, been permitted to return to playparks, so that too featured this morning. Little Proclaims has very much enjoyed this renewed relationship with the swings, slide and roundabout but by far her favourite activity in the playpark at the moment is to run around aimlessly while shouting excitedly. We go out early and are alone in the park so I try not inhibit this expression of unbridled joy, unless she looks as though she’s about to do something that will result some kind of mishap. Which does happen quite often…

Little Proclaims is now enjoying a much deserved afternoon nap and I am sitting in front of a televised football match that I have fairly limited interest in, drinking some very nice beer, which I purchased for a bargain price at the supermarket and which is making me question whether I will ever return to the pub. I suppose I would like to socialise with the small number of people that I consider friends again but frankly the beer is just as good, and significantly cheaper, at home and I wonder if I really need to go the pub to see them. Maybe the ‘new normal’ will present us with lots of new opportunities to get together, which won’t involve imbibing alcohol in a claustrophobic environment on a Friday evening. Probably not, the world does seem intent on making the ‘new normal’ as much like the ‘old normal’ as possible. Then again I’m sure the ‘old normal’ had plenty of activities that weren’t ‘the pub’. I just didn’t pay them much heed. Perhaps I should stop waiting for the world to change around me and just be a bit more proactive. That does sound like a lot of effort though.

I’m also feeling fairly reluctant to get a haircut. Having rejected Mrs Proclaims kind offer to trim my locks during lockdown, I now have quite the mop. If work, which in my case is based in a secondary school, were operating as usual I’d probably feel more inclined to sort it out, because teenagers can be quite cruel, but there are so few of them there at the moment that I feel I can hang on, particularly with the six-week summer holiday coming up. No doubt by the time September rolls around I’ll be desperate for a trim but I feel I can let things play out for a little longer – who knows, I may decide to opt for an entirely new look at the end of all of this. Maybe a new hairstyle is what I’ve been waiting for to kickstart my journey to being a new and better me.

Or maybe I’ll just be the same person but with different hair.

I expect around the end of August I’ll cave in just have my usual haircut anyway. The non-descript but easy-to-manage look that has served me so adequately for all these years.

I should at least be a slightly fitter version of myself as a result of all of this. My thrice-weekly run has now increased to four-times a week. The main result of adding an extra run per week seems to be that I’ve become much much slower on all of my runs, but as the notion of going for four runs a week was unthinkable only a few months ago, I’d still have to count this as progress.

The swimming pools are due to open soon. No doubt with lots of rules that make it far more difficult to access them, but I should still be able to add swimming back into the mix in some way. I’d like to imagine I’ll stick with the running too, not least because the gyms are also re-opening so there should be less runners about in general, which might mean I can stop getting up at 5am to avoid them.

That said, Little Proclaims does like an early start so it’s unlikely to be the end of my 5am alarm calls…

Being the parent of a small child and still largely having to go to work did mean that lockdown wasn’t the life-altering experience for me as it was for many. Still, I did acquire a little more time as a result of it and I wonder if I really made the most of it.

I’ll have to do better during the next one.


  22 comments for “Reflections On The Recent Lockdown By A Man Who Might Be Slightly Inebriated

  1. July 13, 2020 at 9:19 am

    Did you consider the benefit of starting the ProClamation Tavern at your address? Friends welcome, either BYO or charge an opening fee for your Supermarkup Special?
    FOUR runs a week? Bloody Born-Again fitness fanatic, immaterial of the ‘pace.’

    Liked by 3 people

    • July 13, 2020 at 4:29 pm

      What I like about the pub though is that I can, at some point, go home, whereas if the pub is my home…
      Your second point is noted – I’m not sure I like this side of myself either.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. July 13, 2020 at 11:11 am

    “The main result of adding an extra run per week seems to be that I’ve become much much slower on all of my runs”.
    This line is comedy gold but probably also scientifically quite sound.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 13, 2020 at 4:29 pm

      In these coronatimes, it is important that the science checks out…

      Liked by 3 people

  3. July 13, 2020 at 11:25 am

    “The next one”… 😬😵😛😃

    There are lots of rules at our outdoor swimming pools here in Toronto but it’s been manageable as per my tween. There are not as many open as usual though…

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 13, 2020 at 4:32 pm

      Fortunately my pool is definitely scheduled to open, this weekend in fact. There’s some kind of booking system so hopefully it will work out. Might even be preferable to before if I can actually book a slot…

      Liked by 2 people

  4. July 13, 2020 at 12:20 pm

    While I do long for my local pub, I realize I can do quite nicely without most of our other normal activities. I suppose humans can adjust to almost anything eventually. Except running. That’s just plain crazy.

    Liked by 3 people

    • July 13, 2020 at 4:32 pm

      Even I don’t really understand the running…

      Liked by 3 people

  5. July 13, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    The joy of being a toddler is to be uninhibited and we can only share that joy vicariously, but what if adults acted like young children, it would be great for our mental health; stopping abruptly to pick up a stick and wave it around for the next hour, jumping in puddles, running down grassy slopes, singing in the middle of your parent’s conference call…

    Liked by 4 people

    • July 13, 2020 at 4:35 pm

      From what I’m told I was fairly introverted even as toddler so I would probably have been more inclined to stand and scowl at people than run around. My daughter on the other hand is a joy. An exhausting joy.

      Liked by 1 person

    • July 13, 2020 at 9:37 pm

      I do all of that and I’m 72. Not the singing in the middle of my parent’s conference call though – I wouldn’t dare do that!

      Liked by 2 people

      • July 14, 2020 at 8:29 am

        Everyone needs their boundaries

        Liked by 1 person

  6. July 13, 2020 at 4:33 pm

    Well, your writing doesn’t sound any more inebriated today than at any other time. Take off your shoes and jump in the puddles. You have accomplished getting up to 4 runs. That’s a lot.

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 13, 2020 at 4:36 pm

      Who’s to say I’m not drunk all the time?

      Liked by 2 people

      • July 13, 2020 at 4:44 pm

        Oh, I’ve never said anything like that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • July 13, 2020 at 4:45 pm

        That you’re not drunk all the time.

        Liked by 2 people

  7. July 13, 2020 at 8:24 pm

    Maybe during the next one, you can aim for five days of running. Or not…
    I love the image of Little Proclaims clutching stale bread in her fist and running wildly and aimlessly around the park. I feel like doing that some days, maybe minus the stale bread, however.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 13, 2020 at 9:12 pm

      The stale bread is optional…


  8. July 13, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    It’s not always about making the most of it, sometimes it’s just about making it.

    Liked by 1 person

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