Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

James Proclaims (4)

As is the case for most people, it has been a while since I had a haircut.

Not that this is anything new, I’m more than a little familiar with the ‘unkempt’ look. It’s kind of my style really.

Still, even by my standards I’m looking less kempt than usual. It doesn’t bother me, I don’t see anyone anyway. And I have a hat for the occasions I need to venture out.

And Mrs Proclaims says she likes my hair longer, so there’s no problem on the marital front.

Except that she wants to cut my hair.

Not because she thinks I really need a haircut, but because she just wants to play at being a hairdresser.

Now my wife has many talents, she is an exceptionally gifted linguist, a high-achieving academic and a wonderful mother to our daughter.

But she is not a hairdresser. And her claims that she wanted to be a hairdresser when she was a little girl don’t, in my eyes, qualify her for the job.

After all, I had dreams of being a rock star, but I won’t be headlining Glastonbury any time soon. And not just because the festival has been cancelled this year.

So I am refusing to let her cut my hair.

Some might call me belligerent, others may call me vain. And I’m fine with either of those labels – they both are fairly true.

But I’d still prefer to hang on a bit longer.

If nothing else, growing my hair a bit might help to establish more of a ‘rock star’ look, which could, in turn,  secure me that headline slot at Glastonbury for 2021.




  30 comments for “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

  1. June 4, 2020 at 7:41 am

    Playing the devil’s advocate, but, well, if you just went ahead and let her do it today (you can wear the hat if you are forced out of the house) then you can let it grow out much longer for next year’s festival when you could become a Rock star. You’re already a Rock star Blogger so it shouldn’t be that big of a leap. Much. Really.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 9:15 am

      As ever you’re too kind. I think I’m probably more of ‘supporting act’ blogger, with a small but loyal cult following, but regardless of that, the hair is not for cutting.

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 5, 2020 at 12:42 am

        Yes, master. I can be in the cult, right? Or do I need to go through some ritual or other. I have been reading almost every post for a couple of months now.

        Liked by 1 person

      • June 5, 2020 at 5:48 am

        You’re definitely in!

        Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 4:38 pm

      Get her to practice on a sheep first. See the results before committing.

      Liked by 2 people

      • June 4, 2020 at 6:17 pm

        If only I still lived in Wales…


  2. June 4, 2020 at 8:08 am

    If your wife is a wannabe hairdresser, beware the snip while sleeping, Sampson.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 9:16 am

      Fortunately we have a toddler so sleeping is never really an option anyway…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. June 4, 2020 at 10:14 am

    I had the opposite problem. My partner refused to cut my hair because she was scared of leaving me with a bald patch while I kept telling her that she was welcome to shave the lot off.

    We finally reached a compromise when the barbers were allowed to re-open.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 10:38 am

      I think I’d be ok with her shaving the lot off, I used to shave my head in uni (when barbers were a luxury that would have deprived me of beer money). It’s the fact she wants to ‘style’ it that’s the worry…

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 4, 2020 at 10:52 am

        Styling is always a worry. The barber I normally go to just cuts it short.

        Oddly enough, my partner always has an opinion on how good bad or indifferent a job he has done — I honestly can’t see the difference.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. June 4, 2020 at 11:38 am

    This is a wise move on your part. Never let a spouse near you with a pair of scissors is my general rule of marriage.

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 4, 2020 at 11:44 am

      Those are words to live by

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 4, 2020 at 11:56 am

        We’ve been married 36 years. No scissors.

        Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 12:14 pm

      Um…but I did it. And the teenager’s hair too. I’ll just be over here in my corner…

      Liked by 2 people

      • June 4, 2020 at 12:19 pm

        And you’re still married? Kudos!
        It’s been my experience personal hygiene should be just that. While I chop my own hair on occasion,
        I would never attempt wielding sharp objects at my husband’s head.

        Liked by 1 person

      • June 4, 2020 at 12:37 pm

        Well we’re common law and if I’m really honest the whole “happy family constant togetherness” situations is getting on my nerves…That’s why I need a she shed. 😳😂

        Liked by 2 people

      • June 4, 2020 at 12:53 pm

        I hear you. My she shed will have a full bar….

        Liked by 2 people

      • June 4, 2020 at 2:47 pm

        I don’t think we should be mixing alcohol and scissors though…

        Liked by 1 person

      • June 4, 2020 at 4:12 pm

        Well, it might get more interesting.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. June 4, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    You owe it to her to get in the practice for when Miss Proclaims decides to cut her own hair. It will come, Believe me!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 2:49 pm

      Mrs Proclaims has a perfectly good head of hair of her own to practise on. And frankly she’s welcome to practise on Miss Proclaims too. Just not me…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. June 4, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    This sounds scary for some reason hahahah I think it’s best to give her a chance to impress. Who knows. Maybe she has a hidden talent! Or make a deal where you get to do her hair or makeup… 😮 😮 😮 What a curious transformation this could be! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 4, 2020 at 10:50 pm

      The possibilities are endless but I can’t see a scenario which will result in a happy ending

      Liked by 1 person

  7. June 5, 2020 at 10:47 am

    Well. As a scissor wielding, wannabe hairdresser myself, I would recommend you stick to your guns. I’ve ruined a head of hair or two. My next post is just about this topic…if I ever get time to write said post. And say no on behalf of the toddler too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. June 6, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    Make a deal–she can cut yours if you can cut hers:-)

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 6, 2020 at 7:46 pm

      I’m genuinely worried she’d agree to that…

      Liked by 1 person

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