A Cheesy Post About The Dangers Of Homophones

James Proclaims (4)

As January comes to an end, much to the relief, no doubt, of people who like to blame arbitrary measures of time for all the ills in the world, I am given pause to reflect on how little I would have achieved had I made any New Year Resolutions. Fortunately I did not, so any lack of personal development on my part is far more to do with the status quo than any specific time-sensitive failings.

Of the many lifestyle changes I did not adopt this month, I reserve special mention for veganism. Veganuary is a concept that enjoys a fairly large following and veganism on the whole appears to be far more popular than ever it was. The reasons for adopting this lifestyle are myriad, but potentially include health benefits, financial incentives and environmentalism among the factors which are driving people to give up animal products.

On a personal level, I enjoy eating meat, but I’ve been married to an ‘almost vegetarian’ for close to twelve years (Mrs Proclaims occasionally eats fish so would therefore be dubbed a pescatarian by those in the know) so I don’t consume as much meat as I might and it wouldn’t actually be that much of a hardship to give it up.

I would find it much harder to give up dairy products though. A world without ice-cream is one I’m not sure I’d ever want to live in, I’ve yet to find a substitute for butter that makes toast worth contemplating and chocolate is quite often the only reason I am able to navigate my working day.

But I might find cheese the most difficult of all to give up. I really like cheese in all its many forms. Yesterday evening I was enjoying a soft blue cheese which was, according to the packaging, a ‘blue Brie’. This heavenly concoction combined the creamy texture of the soft French cheese with the more pungent delights of a Stilton or a Roquefort. I am very much a fan of blue Bries.

But it occurred to me that were I to make this claim out loud I might well be misunderstood and a benefactor might instead decide to furnish me with blueberries.

I don’t mind blueberries, but they would hardly satisfy my craving for coagulated milk protein.

Still, it would be worse for Mrs Proclaims, who detests cheese of all kinds but is partial to small pulpy fruit, were she to be presented with blue Brie rather than blueberries.

I don’t know if there is point to this musing, other than to raise awareness of the potential dangers of homophones. Irrespective of which side of the blueberry/blue Brie divide you sit on.

But I’m fast becoming convinced that those dangers are very real.

  8 comments for “A Cheesy Post About The Dangers Of Homophones

  1. January 31, 2022 at 10:59 am

    This post is beginning to smell very pungent! Did you write it yesterday by any chance?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. January 31, 2022 at 1:19 pm

    I like both, blueberries and blue bries but never before considered the possibility of such confusion.


  3. January 31, 2022 at 2:30 pm

    Vegetables are beautiful with all their colours, but the brown slab on the plate is what tastes great! (I’ve made it sound downright disgusting, but I stand by what I’ve said.)


  4. January 31, 2022 at 4:32 pm

    From age comes wisdom,
    as the French say.


  5. January 31, 2022 at 7:21 pm

    Cheese brings meaning to my life.


  6. January 31, 2022 at 8:14 pm

    Yep, there are many things that are hard to not eat, meat I could do without, but that wouldn’t be easy, cheese would take a stronger will than I posses. On the other hand all fish and every last brussel sprout I could easily set aside. Berries too. But just try to keep me away from the havarti party.
    I rarely turn my epicurean nose up
    When my social calendar throws up
    The odd vegetarian or even vegan dish
    But anything finny sticks in my craw- fish.


  7. January 31, 2022 at 9:30 pm

    Homophones can be dangerous. You’d never want to put blue bries in the male. cheers


  8. February 1, 2022 at 3:01 am

    I would gladly commit to an all cheese diet.


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