Category: Humour
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Today’s assignment on Writing 101 came in two parts. One part was to create a poll asking my readers for suggestions for me to write about…
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As I explained yesterday, I’m a little behind on Writing 101. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like they’re going to kick me off the course…
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I’ve fallen behind on Writing 101, but fortunately they give you the weekend off so I can catch up by posting Thursday’s assignment today and…
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It’s day 3 of Writing 101 and day 4 of my new job. Because I’ve got a new job. So I slightly regret signing up for…
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Day 2 of Writing 101 and today’s assignment is to write a list. I was going to come up with a list of my favourite…
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Hello readers of ‘James Proclaims’, whoever and wherever you may be. If you’re tuning in on a Monday then you’re probably looking for my ‘hilarious’…
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I feel a mild disclaimer is required for this particular piece of fiction. I hope it’s clear that I’m parodying a particular genre and everything…
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I wanted one glassBut drank five more to avoidPricey vinegar
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I could have made this post about the horrors of having hiccups. Because I have hiccups as I’m writing this. But I didn’t know I…
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“We’re definitely lost,” Sally groaned as the path yielded yet more seemingly identical trees, “Let’s just go back.” “We’re not lost,” argued Matt irritably, “if…
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Why is being average Never quite enough? Why must we always strive To be a cut above? If everyone is better Than what we call…
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About a week ago Mrs Proclaims and I went to see Jurassic World. It was an odd thing for us to do as we were…
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The vulgar chime of the shop door announced her arrival. Darren didn’t know her name. He knew that she worked in a nearby office. He…
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Last night’s meal was lovely It went down very well But sad to say it’s left behind A less than pleasant smell The garlic, herbs…
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I often go on river cruises when I’m on holiday. I’ve been on river cruises in Paris (I technically lived in Paris at the time but…
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Rufus could barely keep his eyes open, but unhealthy levels of caffeine and sugar were just about preventing him from falling asleep at his desk.…
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What do you get the man who has everything? Probably not Sudoku Loo Roll. He’ll already have some if he’s got everything and no-one needs…
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Last week I decided to peer review my tagline. It was quite an exciting day in blogging terms. I created a poll and invited the…
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Badger went to call on Fox But Fox had gone to buy some socks Then Badger went to look for Mole But could not find…
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Today’s diatribe is, as ever, about something trivial and unimportant that doesn’t really have any relevance to my daily existence. Nonetheless, it did dominate my…
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Chantelle knew she had what it took to be a pop star. It was, as she explained to the young producer, indeed as she’d explained…
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If like me, you have a track record of buying home fitness equipment and not really using it, then this 16kg kettlebell is just what…
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Hello dear readers! There has been talk of late about the tagline of this blog. Most of this talk has come from me. It’s of…
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I’m often hungryWhen I’m boredAnd I’m often boredIt’s said thatOnly boring peopleGet boredI find that expressionUnhelpful to my plightAnd quite boringI’m not boredBecause I lackSufficient…
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In a controversial move, I’ve decided to redo Blogging 101 – the online blogging course run by WordPress. If you’re a longstanding reader (if you…
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It’s a lovely Sunday afternoon as I write this. The sun is shining , the birds are quite possibly singing (I can’t hear any but…
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Pete looked incredulously at the winged serpenty-lions gushing water into the fountain. According to his online guide, they were supposed to be dragons. But the…
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If, like me, you realised about a year ago that this whole ‘iPad’ malarkey wasn’t just a fad and that maybe technology was starting to…
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It’s probably bestWhen reflecting on the pastNot to focus too muchOn what actually happenedWhen a bit of embellishmentAnd some outright liesCan ameliorate the narrativeAnd render…
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You’d never know it to look at me but I’m reasonably fit. Not athletic you understand. I have no actual ability when it comes to…
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“You’ve got to live life to the full,” Pete declared, through mouthfuls of chicken and leek pie, “you could get hit by a bus tomorrow…
James Proclaims! 