Category: Humour
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It’s 11.05 pm GMT as I begin to write this and I’m gulping down my sixth cup of coffee of the day. It’s probably ill-advised…
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It’s November. November is a rubbish month. All the shops are full of Christmas stuff but Christmas is still ages away. It’s cold. It’s dark.…
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It’s one of those conundrums that I think many of us bloggers go through. I’ve been through it before in previous incarnations of my online…
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The more observant among my regular readers will have noticed that I’ve been writing a lot of poetry over the last week or so. It’s…
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I cannot abide my alarm clock It’s an unpleasant pre-sunrise shock I wish I could sleep more And continue to snore A desire that my…
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I don’t think about my skinVery often, although it is a colourThat has provoked a reaction in othersBoth negative and at timesPatronisingly positiveBecause my ethnicity…
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Brightest beacon of Purest procrastination I watch to avoid
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Day 14 of Writing 101 was to write a post that takes place within a single day. I think that particular ‘time constraint’ already applies…
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For day 13 of Writing 101 the idea was to tell a story through a series of vignettes. I’m not sure if I’ve managed this…
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Alas Writing 101 has not gone particularly well. It’s the final week and we’re now on Day 16, but somehow I find myself still endeavouring…
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Task 10 on Writing 101 was to write a post as if I was catching up with my reader over a cup of coffee. It’s…
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Dear James, You’ve fallen behind with ‘Writing 101’ again, when all you had to do was write a letter. It literally could have been to…
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Today’s Writing 101 task was to expand on an insightful comment that I had made on another person’s blog. All well and good, except I…
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For today’s Writing 101 task, I need to produce something based on a quote. I do like a good quote, but I resent writing blog posts…
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Today’s assignment on Writing 101 came in two parts. One part was to create a poll asking my readers for suggestions for me to write about…
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As I explained yesterday, I’m a little behind on Writing 101. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like they’re going to kick me off the course…
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I’ve fallen behind on Writing 101, but fortunately they give you the weekend off so I can catch up by posting Thursday’s assignment today and…
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It’s day 3 of Writing 101 and day 4 of my new job. Because I’ve got a new job. So I slightly regret signing up for…
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Day 2 of Writing 101 and today’s assignment is to write a list. I was going to come up with a list of my favourite…
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Hello readers of ‘James Proclaims’, whoever and wherever you may be. If you’re tuning in on a Monday then you’re probably looking for my ‘hilarious’…
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I feel a mild disclaimer is required for this particular piece of fiction. I hope it’s clear that I’m parodying a particular genre and everything…
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I wanted one glassBut drank five more to avoidPricey vinegar
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I could have made this post about the horrors of having hiccups. Because I have hiccups as I’m writing this. But I didn’t know I…
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“We’re definitely lost,” Sally groaned as the path yielded yet more seemingly identical trees, “Let’s just go back.” “We’re not lost,” argued Matt irritably, “if…
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Why is being average Never quite enough? Why must we always strive To be a cut above? If everyone is better Than what we call…
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About a week ago Mrs Proclaims and I went to see Jurassic World. It was an odd thing for us to do as we were…
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The vulgar chime of the shop door announced her arrival. Darren didn’t know her name. He knew that she worked in a nearby office. He…
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Last night’s meal was lovely It went down very well But sad to say it’s left behind A less than pleasant smell The garlic, herbs…
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I often go on river cruises when I’m on holiday. I’ve been on river cruises in Paris (I technically lived in Paris at the time but…
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Rufus could barely keep his eyes open, but unhealthy levels of caffeine and sugar were just about preventing him from falling asleep at his desk.…
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What do you get the man who has everything? Probably not Sudoku Loo Roll. He’ll already have some if he’s got everything and no-one needs…
