Back to work after Christmas break It’s all downhill from here Can’t dress in festive loungewear Can’t start the day with a beer My suit is now a little tight And I really can’t think why Perhaps I’ll mull it over While I eat one last mince pie It seems unfair to be back at…
Tag: food
Another Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
So we’ve reached the end of Christmas (Well we’re there or thereabouts) And somehow I’ve survived Though at times I had my doubts But as the festive feasting Is replaced by brutal workouts I’m still left to ponder Why did I buy so many sprouts?
A Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
Epiphany is still yet days away The fridge contains leftover roast But it’s clear that the holiday’s over Christmas Spirit has given up the ghost I’m not quite prepared to eschew The remaining Christmas delights But I need to get back to normality And have a few earlier nights So today the tree must come…
A Limerick That Mistakenly Blames A General Sense Of Discontentment On An Abstract Measure Of Time
Can it still be 2021? It’s almost but not quite yet done ‘Twas no 2020 But still I’ve had plenty And I hope that next year is more fun
Free Verse About The True Meaning Of Christmas
As I get older I’m not sure I get wiser But sometimes my perspective can shift And views I once held Now seem as alien to me As an actual alien might seem If aliens existedAnd I were to meet one of them My perspective on Christmas Has certainly changed Many times over the years…
A Rapid Rhyme About Overindulgence Between Christmas And New Year
Though Christmas is over It still lingers on There remain treats aplenty To feast upon I’m not sure I can stop With so much to choose And when I get thirsty There’s no shortage of booze Balance can be found With the occassional sprout Which I’m sure will allay The onset of gout. New Year…
A Rapid Rhyme About Breakfast
Tis said that breakfast is important I don’t know if that’s true But I know before I’ve had it My faculties are few I can’t function til I’ve had it In one of it’s many guises My heart says eggs and bacon But muesli’s what my head advises. And though my head’s advice Is for…
A Post That Might Be About Something But Probably Isn’t
Sometimes on my way to work I go for breakfast at a place the kids tend to call a ‘Drive Through’ and the really cool kids call a ‘Drive Thru’. Although the specific fast-food chain is irrelevant, I live in the UK, and as far as I am aware there is only one company, the…
A Rapid Rhyme That Continues A Recent Theme About Pandemic Overeating
When I can’t cope I look for hope In empty calories In salted snacks and melted cheese Food gives relief Though not without griefFor the less I abstain The more weight I gainAnd perhaps even worse The comfort’s inverse The more I find in chow The less my trousers offer now
A Rapid Rhyme About Poor Lifestyle Choices For Which I’m Making The Current Pandemic A Scapegoat
Oh we’re still in lockdown three Yearning to be free But you won’t find me whinging Instead I’ve started binging Boxsets, booze and food Whatever takes my mood I’m looking quite a state I’m more than overweight But it’s hard to really care If I’m not going anywhere And since I’m staying here I’ll have…
A Cinquain About The Consequences Of Adopting A New Lifestyle
New you Eat less, get fit Make healthier choices Soon you’ll find that you have become Hungry
A Twixmas Poem
Christmas Day is over But it Christmas isn’t gone Because the house is full of festive food So the party must go on I really must stop eating But there’s so much left to eat And chocolate’s now a staple It’s no longer just a treat I’m concerned that it’s not healthy And I’ve gained…
A Cinquain About Food That Is Open To Interpretation
Diets Some are healthy But they seldom taste good Unhealthy food tastes much better Eat well
A Poem About Healthy Eating
Muesli? You amuse me Why would I eat that? I’m as healthy as a lion Albeit one that’s fat I have no need to change My diet is just fine Next you’ll ask me to give up My daily breakfast wine It’s not like I’m inactive I skip, I jump, I hop I burn those…
Sunny Side Up
Saturday breakfast Not as healthy as weekdays But so much better
The Magic Of Twixmas
Though Christmas is over Remain in good cheer For there’s plenty of food To see us through to New Year There are chocolates aplenty A variety of cake There are mince pies and stollen (That I didn’t bake) So much leftover turkey Of that there’s no doubt (But alas linger on Some uneaten sprouts) There…
An Awkward Encounter at the Deli Counter
Saturday lunchtimes are often a conundrum for Mrs Proclaims and I. Most meal times are pretty regulated these days due to a highly efficient grocery-shopping schedule. (That’s right I’ve opened a post with the phrase ‘highly efficient grocery-shopping schedule’. This one’s going to be roller coaster of a post…) Essentially we get our groceries delivered…
Too Much Food And Too Much Information
It is hard to believe but it’s true There is still so much food to get through It’s delightful to taste Can’t let it go to waste Though I won’t stray too far from the loo
Going Cold Turkey On The Cold Turkey
The trouble with ‘Twixmas’, the period between Christmas and New Year, is it’s pretty hard to judge exactly how to play things ‘health wise’. In many households there are still quite a lot of leftovers that ‘need’ to be eaten. Cold turkey would be a case in point. Turkey sandwiches for days after Christmas is…
‘Re-toxing’ on Boxing Day
As I acknowledged in last year’s Boxing Day post, the day after Christmas has nothing to do with pugilism. Nonetheless, this morning I woke up feeling like I’d done twelve rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime. Obviously I hadn’t done twelve rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime. For that to have happened either…
The Second Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
As Noddy Holder off of Slade shouts whenever anyone cares to listen: IT’S CHRISTMAS! Noddy likes Christmas and if I’d written and performed one of the most successful Christmas songs of all time I’d like Christmas too. In point of fact I have not written and performed one of the most successful Christmas songs of…
James Complains About Healthy Eating
Much as it pains me to admit it, I’m already too old to ‘live fast and die young’. It’s no longer a goal I can achieve. So instead I’ve decided to ‘live at a moderate pace and die quite old’. In order to ensure that happens I’m going to start making sensible choices about my…
Dinner Time
Janice cut the chicken into strips and tossed them into the frying pan, along with the onions and peppers she had prepared earlier. Adding a little sauce, she stir- fried her composition for a few minutes, singing along to compilation of late-eighties pop acts that were the mainstay of her decade-old MP3 player. The kitchen…
It’s Twixmas Time And There’s No Need To Be Afraid
Days after the day after Christmas Have a tendency to underwhelm The period that’s now known as Twixmas Can be rather a confusing realm
A Christmas Message From James Proclaims
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring… Except for an overweight bloke, dressed in red and filling a stocking full of presents. No, not Father Christmas, but me. I’m not dressed entirely in red, but I am wearing a red top. It’s a replica of the rugby…
Other Yeast Extracts Are Available
I just enjoyed two slices of Marmite on toast. It was a thoroughly pleasant late evening snack, which should help me persevere with some of the tasks I need to complete before I head off to the Land of Nod. The Land of Nod is not an actual place. It is a metaphor for being…
Remnants Of Last Night’s Meal
Last night’s meal was lovely It went down very well But sad to say it’s left behind A less than pleasant smell
Superfluous Spice
My other half occasionally claims to be a vegetarian. She knows that she isn’t really, she’s actually a pescetarian but people find it easier to understand vegetarian. For some reason it’s more difficult to accept someone not eating meat if the person in question is perfectly happy to eat fish. Not that my beloved explains her motivations particularly…
Buffet Bliss
If you ask me what my favourite food is, on any given day I would probably give you a different answer. It’s really down to what mood I’m in at that particular moment. I’m not really that discerning. The French would definitely not describe me as a gourmet (dictionary definition – a person who cultivates…
Glorious Gluttony
I went to the pub last night. I didn’t drink that much, but I ended up being a tiny bit drunk. Certainly I was drunk enough that when I went to the chip shop on the way home I bought a significantly larger amount of food than I would have had I not been imbibing…
James Proclaims! 