Tag: food

A Twixmas Poem

Christmas Day is over But it Christmas isn’t gone Because the house is full of festive food So the party must go on I really must stop eating But there’s so much left to eat And chocolate’s now a staple It’s no longer just a treat I’m concerned that it’s not healthy And I’ve gained…

A Poem About Healthy Eating

Muesli? You amuse me Why would I eat that? I’m as healthy as a lion Albeit one that’s fat I have no need to change My diet is just fine Next you’ll ask me to give up My daily breakfast wine It’s not like I’m inactive I skip, I jump, I hop I burn those…

The Magic Of Twixmas

Though Christmas is over Remain in good cheer For there’s plenty of food To see us through to New Year There are chocolates aplenty A variety of cake There are mince pies and stollen (That I didn’t bake) So much leftover turkey Of that there’s no doubt (But alas linger on Some uneaten sprouts) There…

An Awkward Encounter at the Deli Counter

Saturday lunchtimes are often a conundrum for Mrs Proclaims and I. Most meal times are pretty regulated these days due to a highly efficient grocery-shopping schedule. (That’s right I’ve opened a post with the phrase ‘highly efficient grocery-shopping schedule’. This one’s going to be roller coaster of a post…) Essentially we get our groceries delivered…

Going Cold Turkey On The Cold Turkey

The trouble with ‘Twixmas’, the period between Christmas and New Year, is it’s pretty hard to judge exactly how to play things ‘health wise’. In many households there are still quite a lot of leftovers that ‘need’ to be eaten. Cold turkey would be a case in point. Turkey sandwiches for days after Christmas is…

‘Re-toxing’ on Boxing Day

As I acknowledged in last year’s Boxing Day post, the day after Christmas has nothing to do with pugilism. Nonetheless, this morning I woke up feeling like I’d done twelve rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime. Obviously I hadn’t done twelve rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime. For that to have happened either…

James Complains About Healthy Eating

Much as it pains me to admit it, I’m already too old to ‘live fast and die young’. It’s no longer a goal I can achieve. So instead I’ve decided to ‘live at a moderate pace and die quite old’. In order to ensure that happens I’m going to start making sensible choices about my…

Dinner Time

Janice cut the chicken into strips and tossed them into the frying pan, along with the onions and peppers she had prepared earlier. Adding a little sauce, she stir- fried her composition for a few minutes, singing along to compilation of late-eighties pop acts that were the mainstay of her decade-old MP3 player. The kitchen…

A Christmas Message From James Proclaims

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring… Except for an overweight bloke, dressed in red and filling a stocking full of presents. No, not Father Christmas, but me. I’m not dressed entirely in red, but I am wearing a red top. It’s a replica of the rugby…

Other Yeast Extracts Are Available

I just enjoyed two slices of Marmite on toast. It was a thoroughly pleasant late evening snack, which should  help me persevere with some of the tasks I need to complete before I head off to the Land of Nod. The Land of Nod is not an actual place. It is a metaphor for being…

Superfluous Spice

My other half occasionally claims to be a vegetarian. She knows that she isn’t really, she’s actually a pescetarian but people find it easier to understand vegetarian. For some reason it’s more difficult to accept someone not eating meat if the person in question is perfectly happy to eat fish. Not that my beloved explains her motivations particularly…

Buffet Bliss

If you ask me what my favourite food is, on any given day I would probably give you a different answer. It’s really down to what mood I’m in at that particular moment. I’m not really that discerning. The French would definitely not describe me as a gourmet (dictionary definition – a person who cultivates…

Glorious Gluttony

I went to the pub last night. I didn’t drink that much, but I ended up being a tiny bit drunk. Certainly I was drunk enough that when I went to the chip shop on the way home I bought a significantly larger amount of food than I would have had I not been imbibing…