The conference is a noble thing
A day when experts confer knowledge
In allocated slots
To us know-nothing mortals
Who have had the nerve
Up to this point
To work without their wisdom
Although in truth
There is little conferring of knowledge
Or new knowledge at least
Just a purgatory of PowerPoints
Regurgitating redundant recommendations
Everyone has heard before
But in amongst the allocutions
Of stuff we all already know
Sometimes we can dare to dream
For a keynote speaker
With enough charisma
To make the blindingly obvious
Seem like it wasn’t really so obvious
And if the conference
Is a sham
A lie
An illusion of innovative information
If it is indeed a con
It’s a convivial con
It’s a con-for-us
For while orating the obvious
Might be the order of the day
It is still a day
Away
From our average day
And if we’re lucky
A free lunch
Continuous coffee
And maybe some sweets on our table
Will help us pass the time
James Proclaims! 
19 responses to “Con-For-Us”
With talks that are draining
And not entertaining
(The mark of true grown ups)
……There better be donuts.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Alas there were no donuts, but there were some nice pastries. And your comment was more entertaining than anything that happened on the day…
LikeLiked by 1 person
NO DONUTS????
Ugh. Monsters.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent and so true. I wrote a conference poem once. I should dug it out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You definitely should – I’d like to compare notes 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I suppose the real question was did you write this during the conference??
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must admit that I had the bare bones of the it done before the final speaker was finished. I tweaked it a little afterwards but it was mostly conference-written…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! It’s a great post…..
Conferences….yawn, wriggle, yawn
LikeLiked by 1 person
I look forward to your blog and it looks like you have grown an immense following with or without donuts. Carry on
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Phil – there does seem to have been an increase in readers lately, which is nice. But you’ve been here a while so thanks for that. Maybe I should get donuts for everyone 🙂
LikeLike
I always liked getting out of the office for a conference. When the boss would go to a conference however, it was bad news. He’d come back all pumped up with “new ideas” to implement. Those ideas usually caused enormous grief until they suffered their inevitable death. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah I always make it a personal policy never to ‘bring anything back’…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Playing nice with others and staying awake at these are two of my least favorite sports. Point me to the food and beverage area and if it goes well I might leave at day’s end with a smile. Might. Happy for the pastries they provided you but donuts should also have been invited to the table as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The lunch was pretty good too. Donuts would have made things better though
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always gained more out of the tea break/lunchtime chats with other attendees than from the speakers themselves. Go prepared for conference bingo next time. List all the current buzzwords and motivating phrases and, when you have ticked them all off, shout BINGO! Get a few to participate and use a secret action, to call line or bingo, such as loud coughing or sneeze.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely doing that next time 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where’s the evaluation sheet for this post?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Did you not get the welcome pack?
LikeLike