Unleash Your Lethargy

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Sorry that I didn’t
Do that thing I said I’d do
I didn’t get around to it
Because I didn’t want to

It’s not that I am lazy
(Though you could say that of me)
But I really see no purpose
In being as busy as a bee

It’s hard to really care about
A task that’s wearisome
When there are so many vices
To which I could succumb

So spare me all your judgments
About my attitude
And let me get straight back
To a state of hebetude

 

There Is No ‘I’ In T-E-A-M

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There are things that I am bad at
Which are a strength of yours
So if we work together
We might accomplish more

It seems to make more sense
For our skills to be combined
If we share our talents
We can leave our woes behind

It won’t be a partnership
Built on equality
My abilities are few
And my work lacks quality

No, I don’t bring that much
In terms of aptitude
And some might call me lazy
Though I think that’s rather rude

But though, throughout the years,
I’ve been more inclined to fail
I’m happy to succeed this time
By riding your coattails

Lofty Ambitions

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Today I have a goal
A target I must hit
It really won’t be easy
But I’m not going to quit

I will persevere all day
Until I achieve my aim
I’ve failed at this before
But today I’ll up my game

It might be a touch ambitious
A bit beyond my scope
But if I try my best
Then there will always be hope

I feel that I am ready
I’m prepared to dig quite deep
I’ve done all the groundwork
Though the learning curve was steep

So today I shall prevail
I’ll not falter, I’ll not fall
Yes today will be the day
That I’ll do nothing much at all

Desperate Lover

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I know I said I’d write
A poem about you
But I can’t do it now
Cos I really need the loo

You know that I adore you
And I would try to write it first
But I just can’t hold it in
Cos I’m about to burst

My poem will be lovely
I’m sure you will agree
But it’s hard to be creative
When you badly need to pee

It might be disappointing
And you might feel aggrieved
But I can’t find the right words
Until I feel relieved

So please excuse me now
I’m afraid I must disperse
But I’ll soon be in a state
To woo you better with my verse

Good Intentions, Bad Results

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This morning I didn’t shower
Because I wanted to exercise
And it seemed pointless to shower
Before I exercised

But the day went on
And I didn’t exercise
Because the requisite motivation
Escaped me

And everytime I found motivation
Something else came up
Like meals
Meals got in the way
Because you can’t exercise
Immediately after eating
But you’ve got to eat right?

And other tasks needed doing
And you can’t neglect your life
While you’re waiting to find motivation
To do something you don’t want to do
But once you’ve started a task
You can’t just stop
Because you want or need to do something else
Otherwise nothing would get finished

So the day went on
And jobs got done
And food was eaten
And it wasn’t a bad day per se
But I didn’t exercise
And so I didn’t shower either
Which seems a gross oversight
With the benefit of hindsight

Forlornly Fatigued

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Sometimes when I feel tired
I’m not really that nice
And it’s better to avoid me
Or make interactions more concise

I don’t mean to be so grumpy
Like a bear with a sore head
But I’m not very good at coping
When I spend too little time in bed

I’ll be much better tomorrow
When I’ve had a chance to rest
But today will be a challenge
And I won’t be at my best

So I wouldn’t bother trying
To engage with me today
I’ll be morose and sulky
If I cannot get my way

Better just to ignore me
And pretend that I’m not here
I might be a little joyless
But there’s nothing much to fear

Although it might help a little
If you want to cheer me up
To give me lots of chocolate
And pour some coffee in my cup

Domestic Drudgery

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Oh carpet on the floor
What’s with all the crumbs?
I vacuumed only last week
From where did they all come?

I’m sure that I just ironed
All those crumpled shirts
That they need another pressing
Rather disconcerts

Those dirty plates and cups
Are back sitting in the sink
But I only washed them yesterday
I don’t know what to think

Those walls now look quite shabby
But they were fine not long ago
Is there any point in painting them?
Would it all just be for show?

There really is too much to do
And none of it is fun
And as soon as I have finished
It all needs to be redone

Better not to start at all
And leave things in a mess
I’d rather live in squalor
It brings so much less stress

Where Did All The Chocolate Go?

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Where did all the chocolate go?
I had so much last week
But now I cannot find it
No matter where I seek?

It seems strange that it is gone
There was a plentiful supply
But it’s nowhere to be seen
And I really don’t know why

Ok I did eat some of it
Back on Easter Sunday
And I consumed a little more
During Bank Holiday Monday

And yes I might have had some
On Tuesday after lunch
And a delightful bit of Easter Egg
On Wednesday I did munch

But on Thursday there was plenty left
I know because I had some
And though I tried hard to abstain
On Friday I did succumb

But I hadn’t finished all of it
As Saturday was dawning
So I might have had a smidgen
To see me through the morning

But now it seems to have all gone
What has become of it?
And here’s another mystery
My trousers don’t now fit!