The Valentine’s Day Monotony

James Proclaims (4)


As I write this it’s Valentine’s Day. If you’re reading this on the day it actually hits my blog then it isn’t Valentine’s Day anymore because I’m intending to publish this post on Monday. Specifically Monday the 19th February. If you are reading this on Valentine’s Day then it is almost certainly not the same Valentine’s Day that I’m writing on. It’s most likely a Valentine’s Day in the future. Possibly Valentine’s Day 2019, but potentially a Valentine’s Day even further in the future than that, and you’ve more than likely come across this because some search engine has mistaken the fact that I’ve written the term Valentine’s Day eleven times (including the title) in this post as being an indication that this post is about Valentine’s Day.

Which it isn’t.

It’s just that today, February 14th, 2018, I have a reasonable amount of time to kill and I’m trying to get a little bit ahead with my blogging. Because I’m on something of a hot blogging streak at the moment. This will be my 112th post in 112 consecutive days and I’m rather keen to keep the momentum up. But equally, time is a rather precious commodity at the moment and I really don’t have enough of it to dedicate to producing a daily post of even dubious quality without sacrificing some other commitments. And many of those commitments relate to things I need to do for the institution that pays my wages, which in turn I use to pay my mortgage provider, who, as a result of receiving said payments, allows me to keep a rather shabby (and in very inclement weather, leaky) roof over my head. So I’m trying to make the most of those rare occasions when I do have a bit of time on my hands to produce as much content as possible, so that I can continue with the relatively futile and pointless goal of producing something new everyday. Because we all need something to aspire to and this, frankly, is all I’ve got.

And today I do have time on my hands because I’m waiting for someone to knock on my door and collect something. It’s like a kind of reverse delivery. Ironically I wrote about the frustrations of having to wait in all day for stuff in the form of a poem recently. It’s ironic because when I wrote that poem I wasn’t actually stuck at home waiting for something, I was stuck at work, meeting with the parents of the children I sometimes deign to teach (or, y’know, stand in front of and say things at) and I had time to kill between appointments. I thought a poem about a school’s parent’s evening might be a bit niche, so I changed the focus of the waiting to another frustrating waiting situation (am I revealing too much about my writing process here? Because that’s pretty much how I produce most of the rubbish that makes up this blog). Anyway, just a week on from writing that poem, it’s half term and on one of my precious days off  I am actually stuck at home.


But like I say, I’m waiting for someone to come and pick something up.

So after all the waiting I won’t even have a delivery to enjoy.

So far I’ve been waiting for seven hours. The window closes in another two.

Fortunately Mrs Proclaims bought me some rather nice salted-caramel chocolates for Valentine’s Day.

There aren’t many left at this point.

But if it wasn’t for this interminable waiting, I’d never have produced this.

Although after seven hours of sitting around with nothing else much to do but work on this piece, you’d imagine it would be better than it is.


  9 comments for “The Valentine’s Day Monotony

  1. February 19, 2018 at 10:05 am

    I’m glad you’ve used the term ‘momentum’ to characterise your last 112 days on the blogosphere, ’cause that’s exactly what I’ve been feeling it as.

    Yet, without access to those impressive stats of 112 blog posts in 112 days, I would still be wondering if I was to some degree imagining the said momentum. But no imagining required – the momentum of a goods-train on a downward slope is definitely what you’ve built after 112 big ones!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 19, 2018 at 3:56 pm

      I mean it does literally feel like I’m completely out of control at this point…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. February 19, 2018 at 10:06 am

    This post is has no direction and yet so engagingly hilirious..You do have talent to produce humorous post out of nothing!

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 19, 2018 at 10:07 am

      One might almost be tempted to label such a talent as ‘Seinfeldian’.

      Liked by 4 people

      • February 19, 2018 at 3:57 pm

        I think you’re probably being too kind but I’m totally going to stick that comment on my CV


    • February 19, 2018 at 3:57 pm

      I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me 🙂


  3. February 19, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    Happy Easter 2022. I love your post of 25 March 2021, very funny indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 19, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      Ah yes, that was a good one.

      Liked by 1 person

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