Just five years ago I was a mess, like you probably are. I was failing at life and I didn’t know why. Then one day I picked up a book by Dr Willhem Grimaldi and my life has never been the same. I realised that I had been making the same ten mistakes as all stupid loser people make and I decided I wanted to be a clever winner person instead.
Dr Willhem Grimaldi showed me that in five simple steps I could stop doing the ten stupid things and be a better me than I thought possible.
And now you can also be a winner person like me.
Except that I just made up Dr Willhem Grimaldi.
And I have no idea if there are ten specific things that would make people unsuccessful. It seems unlikely that there could possibly be ten universal truths that account for every single person being successful or not. And if there are, it seems utterly without credibility that there would be five solutions to these ten problems. That doesn’t make mathematical sense.
Hello, I’m James, and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’ and I hope you’re here because you regularly read my blog and you’ve recognised that this post is just the latest in a series of posts I’ve been writing for the last few weeks (for some reason on a Wednesday) that have ‘click-bait’ titles.
Because if you really came to a blog called ‘James Proclaims’ to find out how to make your life better then I really don’t know if anyone can help you.
I think this post just improved my life, or I’ve been brain-washed. Possibly both. Well done.
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Either is an acceptable outcome of this methodology. Thanks for the endorsement.
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But…but…your name…Mr. Proclaims…I thought with a name like that…I expected you could help me…* sigh * Is all lost for poor Herb or will he somehow manage to find his own five solutions to his ten problems?
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Jay Z was fine with ninety-nine problems so I’m sure you’ll cope with ten.
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Oh, well since it was you that said it, I suddenly feel better already.
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Dear Sir.
You haff taken mine five great ideas, tarnished my goot name with your baseless ideas! I vill see you in court.
Doktor Will Sue Grimaldi.
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I’ll see you there. I hope your backhand has improved
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I vill squash you at court- ach, Himmel I zee vat you did there…
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Thank goodness I don’t really have to bother to do anything to improve my life – is it Wednesday already, I have not even thought what to write for my Wednesday blog.
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Always knowing what your Wednesday blog will be was tip number four to the secret of becoming a clever winner person, so there’s a goal for you to work towards.
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Thank feck … I assumed I was doing all 10!😀
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It’s unlikely but don’t worry, I’ve got 5 simple solutions if you are…
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All good, then … salvation is at hand
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I was hoping this article would give me the ten tips I need to help me to sell my book ‘How to Be Friendly’ but it doesn’t so you can sod off you ignorant ****.
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Clearly you need no help from me sir, for you have mastered the art already. Although, while I will concede false advertising, I only actually lied about offering five tips. So you can reduce you indignation by 50%.
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Alright then. Igno **.
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I feel like I should start avoiding these click bait posts just to teach you a lesson.
😉
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But you won’t. And neither will I. 😛
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Come for the click bait, stay for the banter 😉
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I would learn nothing
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When I saw the title of your post today, I thought – there goes James with his a click-bait title which is just as shameless as my self-promotion of regularly giving the address to my blog — thelonelymeatball.ca. Anyway, it worked, James. Well done!
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I hope your shameless self promotion yields equally positive results
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Clearly the first solution is to stop falling for clickbait headlines. Numbers 2-5 involve whisky.
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Any alcoholic beverage is acceptable but whisky is by far the most efficient
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And so versatile: big one, small one, medium size one, with oatcakes, without oatcakes, the possibilities are endless…
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Will you please just stop messing around and cut to the chase. How much does it cost, and where do I send the cheque?
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I came looking for help. Can you at least try?
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