James Proclaims!

I first drank a mochaccino in the late 1990s
It genuinely blew my mind
Until then I had been content
With a middle-of-the range
Instant coffee at home
Bold Glend or something similar
And perhaps a filter coffee when out and about
Which in 1990’s Britain
One might refer to as ‘proper coffee’
Which we knew was better than instant coffee
But we didn’t know was still quite bad coffee
Relative to what was to come

Coffee culture existed elsewhere of course
Espressos being the norm on continental Europe
You could order a ‘cafe au lait’ in France
But you knew you were being judged
By the French
When you did
Although when you’re British
Being judged by the French
Is pretty much the norm
And to be fair
We judge them in return
And we call it the Entente Cordiale

We did have cappuccinos in British cafes
Back in the twentieth century
And of course hot chocolate was a thing
But a flavoured latte?
Madness
A tea drinking nation like ours
Did not need exciting coffee

And then one day they arrived
This new breed of coffee shop
Not a cafe, as we were prone to call them
They were coffee shops and they were different
And with them came a whole range
Of new and exciting variants

Coffees which we’d seen on the TV
On American TV shows
(Where life happened in English
But which we didn’t quite understand)
Were suddenly available on UK highstreets

For double the price of a filter coffee
We could have variants of coffee we’d only dreamed of before
And many we hadn’t dared to dream of
And I had a mochaccino
And it blew my mind

Nearly thirty years on
Coffee culture is now a well established part
Of British culture
Tea is still our national drink
Untouchable at the top
But coffee is no longer a distant second
And those inflated prices are the norm
While stove-tops, Aeropresses and cafetieres
And even more elaborate machines
Are increasingly commonplace domestically
And I have become something of a coffee-snob
A trait I’m not proud of
But a good cup of coffee is an essential part of my day
And an inferior coffee can ruin my day
A truth which does not reflect well on me
But remains true nonetheless

I haven’t drunk many mochaccinos since the 1990s
The novelty wore off
But I had one today for reasons of nostalgia
And it still blew my mind.