Category: Humour
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Hello and welcome back to ‘James Explains’, the bit of my blog where I explain things that other people claim to want to know more…
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Since the UK voted to leave the European Union in June 2016, it’s barely been out of the media. The election of a racist…
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Fat Giraffe and Stupid Donkey were sitting in awkward silence in The Shoe and Phone. “I’m sure he’ll be here any minute now,” said Fat…
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John awoke with a start. It was dark and without his glasses on he couldn’t make out the digital read-out on his radio alarm clock.…
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It’s Friday and therefore time for my regular doodle, which this week continues the theme I started last week of producing portraits of some of history’s…
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1992’s Under Siege is that rarest of things, a good Steven Seagal movie. It’s oft described as being ‘Die Hard on a boat’ and that’s…
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I find myself insomnolent At three in the morning Can’t get back to sleep Though day is several hours from dawning It’s a frustrating situation…
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Welcome back to that bit of my blog where I pretend I’m going to explain stuff but then don’t explain anything much at all. This…
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Do bloggers blog about the very act of blogging when they can’t think what else to blog about? Perhaps so. I know I’ve been guilty…
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Magic Penguin, Fat Giraffe and Stupid Donkey were enjoying a few drinks in the Shoe and Phone one afternoon. Fat Giraffe was a little irritated…
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As he navigated the narrow streets of the old town, Martin noted that the weather was a touch colder than he’d anticipated, and he slightly…
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Today begins a new theme on Artist’s Corner. For the next few weeks I’ll be producing portraits of some of history’s greatest literary and cultural…
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No-one could accuse the 1984 comedy horror movie Gremlins of taking itself too seriously. But as tongue-in-cheek as the original Gremlins is, the 1990 sequel…
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Oh to be an idiot That would be rather good I’d like to not know anything And not know that I should To be ignorant…
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At the moment I appear to be in quite a bizarre place health wise. The Christmas period certainly did very little to reduce my weight.…
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One afternoon Magic Penguin and Fat Giraffe were imbibing alcoholic beverages in the Shoe and Phone, as was their way, when in walked Stupid Donkey.…
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Tony drained the last few dregs of the tea that represented the culmination of that morning’s breakfast. Not the healthiest of breakfasts, he was bound…
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Alacrity in aluminium, a pot of positivity, if you need a tin who is tenacious, a receptacle that’s resolute, a jar that will get…
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It’s a valid criticism of modern cinema that much of the current output comes in the form of sequels (and indeed prequels), or remakes/reboots of…
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It’s best not to ponder All of your fears That way lies madness It’ll all end in tears Beating stress is quite simple A doddle…
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It’s Tuesday and according to my not-very-strictly-observed blogging schedule, today is the day I explain things. It may well be things that people have asked…
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As someone of mixed race, it is, of course, technically impossible for me to be racist. Except that it isn’t. For, despite being a remoaning…
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Magic Penguin and Fat Giraffe were spending the afternoon playing darts and drinking heavily in the pub of their choice, the inimitable Shoe and Phone.…
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Arnold liked routine. His working day followed a familiar pattern beginning with two medium-sized soft boiled eggs consumed with brown bread soldiers, each one cut…
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The Book Thief is a 2005 novel that was adapted into a 2013 film of the same name. I haven’t read the book or seen the…
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1994’s Speed is often referred to as Die Hard on a Bus. Which is a little unfair. While many action flicks owe much to…
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Now December is over And I’m feeling poor My credit card’s maxed out There are wolves at the door Not literally of course The wolves…
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Hello and welcome back to ‘James Explains’, the bit of my blog where I explain stuff. This is the first proper ‘James Explains’ after last…
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By anyone’s standards, Christmas is well and truly over for another year. I, alas, had to go back to work on the 3rd January, which…
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Magic Penguin and Fat Giraffe were frequenting their local public house one afternoon, as was their tendency. Fat Giraffe was drinking a generic lager, but…
James Proclaims! 