Today is Halloween. I don’t much care about Halloween most years, so it seems unlikely that I will that bothered about it this year. But the world is quite a scary place at the moment. I don’t know if that makes Halloween more or less worthwhile. We’ve basically been experiencing the apocalypse since the end…
Category: James Proclaims
Just Call Me Mr Milestone
In recent weeks I have passed quite a few significant milestones in my life. The milestones are, of course, metaphorical. I haven’t passed any real milestones. Or possibly I have when I’ve been out and about, but if that is the case I haven’t really noticed. In real life, actual milestones are a somewhat dated…
Blogging The Candle At Blog Ends
At first glance the title of this post looks like it might be a clever play on a fairly common idiom. But it isn’t really that clever and it doesn’t bear up to much scrutiny. Nonetheless, as the title of a fairly pointless post about my current blogging stats, it serves a purpose. That I’m…
A Rambling Post About Some Stuff And Also Some Other Stuff
Hello people who read this blog. I hope you are well. I’m writing this on Sunday evening, although this post, if I finish it, will not hit the blogosphere until Monday morning. Probably at 5am, as that seems to be the fairly arbitrary time I generally elect to schedule my posts to appear. I used…
I’ve Finally Achieved My Dream
Last week I disappeared from the blogosphere for a few days. You may not have noticed. Why would you? I’m not a blogger of any particular consequence. Besides, even though I wasn’t really around, my writing still was, as I made use of the rather helpful ‘scheduling’ feature on WordPress and my posts appeared everyday,…
You’ll Never Get More Readers Without Doing This
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. Every Wednesday, for the last few months, I have been writing disingenuous posts with click-bait titles. While my motivation has always been fairly tongue-in-cheek, I did start doing this partly to see if it made any difference to my overall stats. I don’t massively care…
Exclusive! An Interview With James Proclaims
For the last five years, little has been known about the mysterious figure behind the multi-award nominated blog, ‘James Proclaims’. Apart from the blog posts of course. But what can you really tell about a person from a blog post? Well, possibly quite a lot. Or maybe nothing at all. Have the utterings of the…
My Toddler Still Thinks I’m An Idiot
Back in June I wrote a post called My Toddler Thinks I’m An Idiot. Essentially I recounted how my wife and I were attempting to bring our daughter up to be bilingual in French and English. We were always quietly confident about the English bit of that particular ambition, what with English being our first language…
The World’s Most Difficult Riddle? Only 10% Of People Who Tried This Could Solve It
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. I enjoy a riddle as much as anyone, but you won’t find one here. Certainly you won’t find the ‘World’s Most Difficult Riddle’. I don’t know what that is. But I would imagine that if 10% of people can solve a riddle then it would…
All Blog And No Blog Makes Blog A Blog Blog
Happy September everyone! It’s not actually September as I write this, but I am planning on posting this on the first day of September. Because, without wishing to ruin the magic for anyone, sometimes I write my posts ahead of time. Anyway, although I’m writing this on the 29th August 2020, it will be September…
The Last Post: Why I’m Giving Up Blogging Forever
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. This is my 757th post on this particular blog. I thought it was going to be my 750th but I appear to have overshot by a week. Last Wednesday’s post, entitled ‘The Insurance Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About This Simple Life Hack Which…
An Urgent Appeal On Behalf Of The James Proclaims Foundation
At this difficult time, it is easy to forget those less fortunate than ourselves, but here at The James Proclaims Foundation, we refuse to abandon those who are in need of our support. Over the last few months we have been working tirelessly to continue to provide essential services to people like ‘James’. James is…
The Insurance Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About This Simple Life Hack Which Could Save You Thousands
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog ‘James Proclaims’. You may have clicked on this post on the basis that the title suggests it contains some kind of life hack for saving money – money which you would otherwise lose to the insurance industry. In reality this post contains nothing of the sort. I…
The Adequate Blogger Award
Happy Tuesday everyone! I’m super excited today because I’ve been nominated for ‘The Adequate Blogger Award’ by James over at James Proclaims. I just want to take a moment to thank James for nominating me. He has a super awesome blog which has poetry and haiku and limericks and poems and also some really brilliant…
10 Celebrities Who Have Serious Mental Health Problems – You Won’t Believe Number 4!
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. The above picture is of Henry Cavill, who is possibly best known for playing a version of Superman, but not the definitive version of Superman, because that will always be the late, great, Christopher Reeve. As well as playing an ‘OK but not great’ version…
The Tragic Tale Of Dipsy
The picture above is of Dipsy. On the off-chance you’ve never come across him before, Dipsy is a Teletubby, off of the TV show ‘Teletubbies’. I say ‘he’ although I wasn’t sure before I started writing this if Teletubbies had specific genders and, if so, what specific gender Dispsy was. But I’ve checked, because the…
Please Read – This Post Contains Important Information Regarding a Forthcoming Induction Seminar For New Followers
Welcome to James Proclaims – I would like to offer our sincere thanks to you for choosing to further your reading experiences here. You are following a great blog with a longstanding commitment to excellence and innovation. At James Proclaims, leadership in poetry and satire is combined with a collaborative spirit and global connections. You…
10 Unbelievable Epic Fails Caught On Camera
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. Recently I started writing posts with ‘click-bait’ titles. It was sort of an experiment to see if it got more people to visit my blog, but also a bit of fun that I thought that people who already visited my blog would find amusing. Insofar…
James Predicts The Future
It’s not like me to use misleading titles for my posts. Apart from when it is. And I fear I may have done just that today. Because this post is not going to be me attempting to predict the future in a humorous way, which is probably what the title implies. Nor will it be…
Wanted – Talented Writers Who Have No Personal Ambition And Are Happy To Give Away Content For No Remuneration Or Credit
A exciting opportunity has arisen for a creative, results focused and ambitious Content Writer who can take direction from written or spoken ideas and convert them seamlessly into quality content that is better than the stuff we’re currently churning out. James Proclaims Ltd James Proclaims is a multiple award-nominated blog based in the UK somewhere.…
James Blogs About His Own Blog
Though unintentionally, I appear to have started the previous two months with a kind of ‘blog update’. I suppose it’s an inevitable consequence of posting something everyday that occasionally my muse will lead me to ponder my own blog and indeed the concept of blogging as a whole. And frankly I’m not alone in this. …
Revealed: Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Coffee
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. I like coffee. I drink quite a lot of it and I’m something of a snob connoisseur. But in all honesty I doubt I know ten facts about coffee that aren’t already common knowledge. It would be ludicrous to claim otherwise. Regular readers will no…
Important Information For Our Readers
Dear Reader Thank you for your continued loyalty and support during these past months, which we know have been difficult ones. As life begins to return to some normality, we want to reassure you that we’re continuing to do everything we can to keep you safe while still providing the quality poetry and great art…
Ten Reasons That You’re Underperforming And Five Ways You Can Fix It
Just five years ago I was a mess, like you probably are. I was failing at life and I didn’t know why. Then one day I picked up a book by Dr Willhem Grimaldi and my life has never been the same. I realised that I had been making the same ten mistakes as all…
Remember Vincent Montcetti? You Won’t Believe What He Looks Like Now!
Do you remember 90’s heartthrob Vincent Montcetti, star of teen comedy ‘Saved By The Prince’? It seems unlikely because I just made him up. And I made up the show too. The photo above is just something I found on one of those websites that has royalty-free images. I have no idea who the bloke…
Reflections On The Recent Lockdown By A Man Who Might Be Slightly Inebriated
It will be Monday when I post this but, as I write, it is Saturday afternoon. Little Proclaims and I spent much of this morning doing our usual weekend daddy-daughter activities, which mostly consists of feeding ducks and jumping in puddles. I join in with the duck/goose/swan feeding as Little Proclaims, while content to hold…
Lose Weight And Feel Great In Three Simple Steps
Hello, I’m James and this is my latest post on a blog I like to call James Proclaims. It’s not really a blog about weight-loss or fitness, although occasionally I have used my own lacklustre attempts to improve my health and wellbeing as the basis for some of my posts, which for the most part…
Massively Increase Your Followers In Three Simple Steps
Hello, I’m James and you are currently reading my latest post on a blog that I like to call ‘James Proclaims’. There’s a chance that you already know this of course and that you came here to sample my latest offering because you generally find my output tolerable. However, if you’ve stumbled here by accidently…
Ducks Versus Puddles (Round 2)
Last week we explored the efficacy of ducks (or more accurately geese, which aren’t ducks) at hindering my morning run, in comparison to puddles. That round went to puddles. Let’s see if ducks (and associated waterfowl) can level things up this week. Prior to current world events, I would often take my daughter to…
Ducks Versus Puddles (Round 1)
A couple of notes before I begin: This post is notionally about ducks, but really it’s more about geese. And a tiny bit about swans. Essentially it’s about the birds that live on the Thames, or the bit of the Thames that goes through the town of Reading. I think the collective name for such…
I Am Your Father
Don’t be fooled by the title of the post – unless you are my almost-two-year-old daughter, I am not your father. And I’m pretty sure you’re not my daughter because, precocious though she appears to be, she can’t yet read. To the best of my knowledge anyway. But today is Fathers Day and, as of…
