The Limerick Code

I feel a mild disclaimer is required for this particular piece of fiction. I hope it’s clear that I’m parodying a particular genre and everything below was written with tongue firmly in cheek. Nonetheless I can’t ignore the fact that this particular genre is quite popular commercially so I reserve the right to adopt ‘Professor Peter Turnbottle’, without even a hint irony, as the hero of a novel that I may write in a shameless attempt to secure an agent and book deal in the future.


Professor Peter Turnbottle examined the letter again. It made no more sense upon the second reading.

“Contained in this note is a warning
That a day full of peril is dawning
I advise you leave now
Or I fail to see how
You won’t draw your last breath this morning.”

“What do you make of it Professor?” asked Jenson.

Turnbottle looked directly into her dark brown eyes.

“It’s clearly a limerick,” he explained to the young detective.

She looked puzzled.

“What’s a limerick Professor?”

The acclaimed literature expert was always pleased to share his knowledge with younger minds.

“Well Rebecca, a limerick is a kind of poem. It’s made up of five lines, with a strict rhyming scheme. The first, second and fifth lines all share a rhyme, and the third and fourth lines share a different rhyme.”

“Fascinating!” exclaimed Jenson, “and I notice also that the third and fourth lines are considerably shorter than the other lines.”

“Another common feature of limericks,” agreed Turnbottle, “clearly our murderer knows his stuff. We’re dealing with a limerick aficionado here.”

“But what is he telling us with this particular limerick?” queried Jenson.

They pondered the mystery together. Then Turnbottle had an idea.

“I may be mistaken,” said the renowned scholar, “but I think he’s telling us to leave the building rather urgently.” He grabbed the young nubile detective’s hand and the two of them ran towards the door.

They exited not a moment too soon, for as they crossed the threshold, there was an enormous explosion behind them. The kind of explosion that would look amazing in a Hollywood blockbuster.

Turnbottle held Jenson in his strong masculine arms.

“Are you ok,” he asked.

“Don’t worry about me Professor,” said the plucky young investigator, “but look! Under that tree!”

“Another envelope!” cried Turnbottle “and look, there’s also a book!”

With his trademark athleticism, Turnbottle sprinted over to the tree and tore open the envelope. He read the contents aloud.

“Delighted you followed my advice
And now for the next roll of the dice
By this tree is a book
And within if you look
Are records that will fetch quite a price”

“Another limerick!” exclaimed Jenson, “but what does it mean Professor?”

Turnbottle stared heroically into the middle-distance.

“It means that this guy his good!” he declared, “This guy is damned good!”

Written in response to the Literary Lion Prompt – Limerick

  17 comments for “The Limerick Code

  1. September 6, 2015 at 12:27 am

    Please to put me on your list for a signed copy of your first published offering. (Including if you Indie press it a!!)

    Liked by 2 people

    • September 6, 2015 at 10:55 am

      You’re on the list. Congratulations. Admittedly it is quite a short list. Just you in fact…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. September 6, 2015 at 10:13 am

    This is very good and such a delight to read. The only thing is you will have to know what happens next. I know I tried writing a murder mystery but got so far then got stuck. Otherwise keep at it. As for me I think I do romance better than mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 6, 2015 at 10:56 am

      I don’t think I’d be any good at mystery in reality but it was fun to parody it and I might do a bit more of it in the future 🙂


  3. September 6, 2015 at 10:16 am

    Haha! There has been a shortage of good limericking lately, great work!

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 6, 2015 at 10:58 am

      Thanks you, although it’s really the mysterious ‘Limerick Bandit’ you should be congratulating… I only hope that Turnbottle and Jenson can stop his dastardly plan before it’s too late…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. September 6, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    First rule of writing: Capture the reader’s attention right out of the box. Well done! The Limerick Mystery could be a great cozy. And yes, I want on the list to know when it comes out. (I love limericks, have attempted them a few times, but without the success you have shown here.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 6, 2015 at 3:51 pm

      Thanks – you’re too kind. But this was fun to write so I am going to play around with some ideas and see if I can’t make a (very short) novel out of it…


  5. September 7, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    I’ve read that a short novel may sell as an e-book for a small price. Could be a way to make use of what you write and get your name out there. Just a thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. September 8, 2015 at 4:54 am

    It started with note on a blog
    The suspense left all of us agog
    We got scared as we read
    For we too could be dead
    frozen stiff on an Irish peat bog.

    Yet the letter was written without names,
    clearly the villain was playing his games.
    We glanced all about,
    our safety was in doubt,
    till we met our hero Sir James.

    “It was all just a grand lark I had,
    a few words that were not meant to be bad.
    I hope I didn’t scare,
    and I truly do care,
    I’m a humorist and not just a cad.

    Liked by 2 people

    • September 8, 2015 at 5:35 pm

      This is too good to just be in the comments section on my blog


      • September 9, 2015 at 2:55 am

        Of course it’s too good to just be in the comments section! If you were any kind of English gentleman, you would have already offered to sneak into Buckingham Palace and paste it on the wall of the Queen’s loo, so she’d have something to read in the morning.

        Liked by 1 person

      • September 9, 2015 at 8:13 pm

        You ruined the surprise! But technically I’m Welsh so I only have access to Prince Charles…


  7. September 8, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    I hope they manage to catch the Limerick Killer soon! An amusing parody and I love your limericks – you obviously have a flair for them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. September 14, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    I do love a little tongue in the cheek. Another post that has me hearing the voices of Eric Idle and Palin and the like… Nice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 14, 2015 at 7:12 pm

      I’ll take a Monty Python comparison any day of the week! Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

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