Today I saw a fat rat
Not a fat cat
Or a plump bat
Or a rotund gnat
But a rat
That was fat
Perhaps I lack tact
But I think it is fact
And fairly exact
To call the rat fat
For it was indeed a rat
And it was very fat
Rodent body shame
Is not part of my game
I really don’t judge
For I’m partial to fudge
And other sweet treats
Which are delightful to eat
If you overindulge
You’re likely to bulge
But I can self console
About lack of self-control
For though I am no beanpole
And the rat may be smaller
I’m considerably taller
And can say without caution
If we consider proportion
That I would not self flatter
To claim the rat was much fatter
For the rat was very fat
James Proclaims! 
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