Category: Humour
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It’s important to understand If I complain about workIt’s not that I hate my jobAnd I’m really not one to shirkIndeed I sometimes enjoy itBut…
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Online retail isA more convenient routeTo buyer’s remorse
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Today is apparently a big day for the UK in terms of our relationship with the rest of Europe. Our beloved Prime Minister, and genuine…
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Hello dear reader and welcome back to James Proclaims. You catch me in the middle of a construction project. I’m currently building a chest of…
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I do most of my shopping online. I’m not especially a cliché of masculinity that detests the idea of actually going into shops. I like going…
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Why do I avoidThe things that are good for meIn favour of the things that are bad?I know I’m happierWhen I’m healthierAnd usually I’m wealthierBecause…
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OverindulgingAchieving very littlePerfect Friday night
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Overslept, so choiceBetween coffee and showerEasy choice to make
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Oh deadline,I remember when you were just a speckIn the professor’s eyeNo more threateningThan an antAnd look at you nowAll grown upAnd looming large over…
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Though I allude to it rarely, I have stated elsewhere on this site that I am, by profession, a teacher. I don’t like to mention…
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A day after posting a poem that laments the fact that I’m too busy to blog, I find myself shirking my not inconsiderable workload in…
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I’m busy nowWhich is a painIt means I must breakFrom blogging againIt can’t be helpedThough it is a boreBut I must completeSome other choresRest assuredWhen…
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Less than half way thereAt sunrise but by sunsetLess than half to go
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Tradition dictates that because it’s the beginning of a new year, I must make lots of pledges to change my way of life, even though…
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Well it’s the last day of 2015 and that calls for some kind of review of the events of the past 12 months. I’m probably…
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I wasn’t going to post anything today. I haven’t really got anything to write about. I’m still very much in the weird world of Twixmas,…
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Days after the day after ChristmasHave a tendency to underwhelmThe period that’s now known as TwixmasCan be rather a confusing realmYou’ve consumed so much Christmas…
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Boxing Day, as it turns out, has very little to do with pugilism. This message did not get through, perhaps, to the early bird consumers…
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‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring… Except for an overweight bloke, dressed in red and filling…
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Every year, without fail, my mum buys me a chocolate advent calendar. I would genuinely be upset if she didn’t. Yes I’m 36 years old…
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Neither Mrs Proclaims nor I are particularly good at remembering to send Christmas cards. In the past we have bought cards to send, made a…
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It seems like only a few weeks ago that I was ‘celebrating’ the fact that I had written my very first blog post via the…
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There are results in lifeThat I care aboutThe results of an academic endeavour perhaps Or the outcome of a job interviewAnd medical resultsOn the occasions…
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Happy Cyber Monday! Words to warm even the coldest of hearts as November draws to a close. Not some dystopian vision of a future in…
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I often claim I like to readWhen I have time to killA novel is the ideal thingIf I have hours to fillI like all kinds…
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I’m writing this on my phone. To me that is enough of a novelty for me to need no further content in this post.…
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I’ve been in work today. All day. Because it is a normal working day in the UK. Yet according to my email inbox and various…
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It didn’t really occur to me when I started this blog that I would have any readers outside of my existing friends and family, and…
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A senior colleague announced today that it’s thirty more sleeps till Christmas. Maybe for you grandpa, I thought to myself before remembering that I too…
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I honestly can’t recallIf I started drinking coffeeTo combat the resultant fatigueOf insomnia Or if the fatigue is born ofAn insomniaThat is itself a symptomOf…
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I haven’t written a ‘James Reviews’ for a while. The original concept was that I’d write reviews about stuff that no-one really needs, or at…
James Proclaims! 