Category: Humour
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Pulling my socks upOnly helped me to achieveSlightly higher socks
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Some days when I get out of my bedI cannot seem to switch on my headAutopilot is onCommon sense is long goneAnd I just can’t…
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Rulers of the worldCan often be too rigidTape is flexible
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Piles of paper increasing in heightAre beginning to block out the lightIf my desk is a messIt’s a clear sign of stressAnd my sanity has…
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Mrs Proclaims and I live in quite a nice bit of town. We didn’t realise it was an especially nice bit of town when we…
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I love the weekendBut it would improve withoutSunday evening
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I’m sorry that I didn’tRead that report you wroteIn terms of how to spend last nightIt didn’t get my voteI had a pleasant eveningWent to…
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With ever-changing specifications, there is an increasing tendency to make exam questions more pertinent to real life. Sensing an opportunity to make my fortune, I’m…
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Think outside the boxDo something differentlyFail miserably
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Meetings rarely thrillBut can be brightened up byWell-chosen biscuits
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It’s important to understand If I complain about workIt’s not that I hate my jobAnd I’m really not one to shirkIndeed I sometimes enjoy itBut…
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Online retail isA more convenient routeTo buyer’s remorse
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Today is apparently a big day for the UK in terms of our relationship with the rest of Europe. Our beloved Prime Minister, and genuine…
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Hello dear reader and welcome back to James Proclaims. You catch me in the middle of a construction project. I’m currently building a chest of…
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I do most of my shopping online. I’m not especially a cliché of masculinity that detests the idea of actually going into shops. I like going…
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Why do I avoidThe things that are good for meIn favour of the things that are bad?I know I’m happierWhen I’m healthierAnd usually I’m wealthierBecause…
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OverindulgingAchieving very littlePerfect Friday night
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Overslept, so choiceBetween coffee and showerEasy choice to make
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Oh deadline,I remember when you were just a speckIn the professor’s eyeNo more threateningThan an antAnd look at you nowAll grown upAnd looming large over…
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Though I allude to it rarely, I have stated elsewhere on this site that I am, by profession, a teacher. I don’t like to mention…
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A day after posting a poem that laments the fact that I’m too busy to blog, I find myself shirking my not inconsiderable workload in…
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I’m busy nowWhich is a painIt means I must breakFrom blogging againIt can’t be helpedThough it is a boreBut I must completeSome other choresRest assuredWhen…
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Less than half way thereAt sunrise but by sunsetLess than half to go
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Tradition dictates that because it’s the beginning of a new year, I must make lots of pledges to change my way of life, even though…
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Well it’s the last day of 2015 and that calls for some kind of review of the events of the past 12 months. I’m probably…
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I wasn’t going to post anything today. I haven’t really got anything to write about. I’m still very much in the weird world of Twixmas,…
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Days after the day after ChristmasHave a tendency to underwhelmThe period that’s now known as TwixmasCan be rather a confusing realmYou’ve consumed so much Christmas…
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Boxing Day, as it turns out, has very little to do with pugilism. This message did not get through, perhaps, to the early bird consumers…
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‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring… Except for an overweight bloke, dressed in red and filling…
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Every year, without fail, my mum buys me a chocolate advent calendar. I would genuinely be upset if she didn’t. Yes I’m 36 years old…
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Neither Mrs Proclaims nor I are particularly good at remembering to send Christmas cards. In the past we have bought cards to send, made a…
