Let’s All Just Take A Moment to Acknowledge My Momentous Achievement

James Proclaims (4)

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This month I have derided, mocked and otherwise made-fun of various November ‘traditions’. Many of my posts this month have been mock-ups of potential novels in an affectionate sendup of National Novel Writing Month, while I have also derided (at times with a touch less affection) such November notables as Movember, Black Friday (and it’s even stupider sibling ‘Cyber Monday’) and World Sandwich Day.

All the while though, I have been participating in the bloggiest of all the November novelties. For I have been ‘secretly’ participating in National Blog Posting Month (or NaBloPoMo) for which the goal is to produce a blog post for every day of November. That’s thirty posts in thirty days.

As a writing challenge it’s much easier than NaNoWriMo, but it’s still no mean feat I can tell you.

I haven’t been this productive on my blog since I did the same challenge two years ago.

Back then I swore I’d never do it again, because it’s really hard think of sufficient things to write about in order to produce that many posts.

Out of desperation I did stupid things during my 2015 NaBloPoMo challenge, such as writing a post on November 5th saying I couldn’t think of anything to write about. This was ludicrous for two reasons, firstly the ‘I can’t think of anything to write about’ post is all well and good later on in the month but using it up on day 5 was throwing away a potential lifeline very early on. Also, it was Guy Fawkes Night, so I should have just written about that. You’ll note I did not make the same mistake this year and Mr Fawkes very firmly had his place within my 2017 November challenge.

Anyway, today marks the day that I have achieved the thirty posts in thirty days challenge. It’s a day before the end of November because I posted on the last day of October.

Because that was Halloween, which seemed an obvious thing to blog about when trying to generate lots of content.

However, in the spirit of this being a November-specific challenge I will post something tomorrow too.

It will be an explanatory post about what will be happening on this blog during the month of December.

Because I’m extending this blogging party right up until Christmas and possibly beyond.

Do try and contain your excitement.

A Chicken And Egg Conundrum


I honestly can’t recall
If I started drinking coffee
To combat the resultant fatigue
Of insomnia

Or if the fatigue is born of
An insomnia
That is itself a symptom
Of excessive caffeine consumption

But on a day when I have
An omelette for breakfast
And a Nandos for lunch
There is at least one question
I can answer with certainty

James Reviews James Proclaims

James Proclaims (6)

I haven’t written a ‘James Reviews’ for a while. The original concept was that I’d write reviews about stuff that no-one really needs, or at least stuff no-one really needs a review of. Obviously everyone should own drumstick pencils and a Jedi dressing gown.

But the trouble is that there’s only so often you can make the same joke before, well you’re really just making the same joke.

So I’ve been resting the concept for a while.

I thought I might revive it though because I’m currently attempting NaBloPoMo and I’m finding it hard to think of ideas of stuff to write about every day. Continue reading James Reviews James Proclaims

Rhyme But No Reason


I think it’s time for a poem
I said aloud one eve
I haven’t written one for days
At least three I do believe

But what kind of poem should I write
And what should it be about?
Shall I deal with themes profound
Or nonsense shall I spout?

Philosophical and worthy
Is perhaps the path to tread
But a poem about nothing
Might tick the box instead

Yes I think I’ll leave the wisdom
To people with more time
For a poem is not worthless
When it’s got a pleasing rhyme.

Scraping The Barrel

James Proclaims (4)

On my lunch break as I write this.

Frankly if I wasn’t attempting NaBloPoMo, I’d probably give today a miss. I’ve got university this evening so my blogging time is at a minimum today.

It’s seriously raining outside and I’ve got bottom set year nine in about fifteen minutes. They’re always high on sugar in the afternoons anyway and the rain is going to have sent them over the edge. It’s all about damage limitation from here until I can release them back into the wild. Continue reading Scraping The Barrel

Other Yeast Extracts Are Available

James Proclaims (4)

I just enjoyed two slices of Marmite on toast.

It was a thoroughly pleasant late evening snack, which should  help me persevere with some of the tasks I need to complete before I head off to the Land of Nod.

The Land of Nod is not an actual place. It is a metaphor for being asleep.

I wish it was an actual place.

But I digress. Continue reading Other Yeast Extracts Are Available

You can tell you were a child of the…

James Proclaims (4)

I’ve been thinking of how I can make this blog more popular because that kind of thing really matters to me.

Am I being sarcastic or do I really mean that?

I genuinely have no idea.

Anyway I’ve heard that lists are popular and we all like those lists that remind us about all the cool stuff that was around when we were younger. But not everyone was a child at the same time, so I’ve made a DIY list to suit everyone who ever lived and will ever live. Continue reading You can tell you were a child of the…