Author: James

I'm a fairly nice bloke. You'd probably like me if you met me.

Reading in Reading

I’m writing this from inside a library. Not just any library but an actual university library. Where people come to study. In fact it’s the main library of the University of Reading. The University of Reading is so-called because it is in the town of Reading in Berkshire, England, rather than because it is a…

Souvenirs

Discussing major world events isn’t my forte and in any case the recent horrors in Paris have left me without words.  There’s nothing I can write that’s going alleviate any suffering or make any sense of last night’s atrocities. But like many people I have been preoccupied, for most of today, with what has happened.…

Other Yeast Extracts Are Available

I just enjoyed two slices of Marmite on toast. It was a thoroughly pleasant late evening snack, which should  help me persevere with some of the tasks I need to complete before I head off to the Land of Nod. The Land of Nod is not an actual place. It is a metaphor for being…

Healthy And Safety Matters

After the success of my last ‘Found Poem’, I was fairly keen to do another, but I wasn’t sure what to use as my source material. Then, like a gift, I was asked to attend Health and Safety training at work (because I’m new, not because I’m a danger to myself and colleagues). I say…

This Probably Didn’t Happen

When I was young  I really enjoyed the Narnia books by CS Lewis. They captured my imagination and I really wanted to go to the magical land of Narnia. The best my family could manage was Cornwall, which is magical in it’s own right but it’s not really the same. We still used to travel by…

You can tell you were a child of the…

I’ve been thinking of how I can make this blog more popular because that kind of thing really matters to me. Am I being sarcastic or do I really mean that? I genuinely have no idea. Anyway I’ve heard that lists are popular and we all like those lists that remind us about all the…

James Complains About Ironing

The Iron Man comic books and films would probably have captured the imagination of the public a little less if his main super power was removing the creases from clothes. But if someone offered to do that for me they would certainly be my superhero of choice. Given the options of battling the forces of…

What are the rules?

I’m not sure what the rules are for NaBloPoMo. Is there a minimum word count? Does the post actually have to be about anything? Or can you just write a few sentences about the fact that you’re participating in NaBloPoMo everyday without making reference to anything else? Cos that would be a bit of a…

Coffee versus People

If I can get to the weekend then it will all be ok. Coffee will help. Alcohol will not help, which is a shame because I really feel like a nice cold beer right now. Or a nice glass of Chateau Neuf du Pape. Or that really cheap cider that I got drunk on that…

The first hurdle

It’s 11.05 pm GMT as I begin to write this and I’m gulping down my sixth cup of coffee of the day. It’s probably ill-advised but I doubt it will stop me from sleeping tonight. After boldly claiming yesterday that writing thirty blog posts in thirty days for NaBloPoMo would be undemanding, I find myself…

It’s The Taking Part That Counts

It’s November. November is a rubbish month. All the shops are full of Christmas stuff but Christmas is still ages away. It’s cold. It’s dark. I will probably be ill for at least some of this month. It’s not that surprising that November is commandeered annually as a month in which to achieve formidable things…

Spamaletto

The more observant among my regular readers will have noticed that I’ve been writing a lot of poetry over the last week or so. It’s mainly because I’m doing yet another WordPress course and this one is called Writing 201: Poetry. Everyday I’ve been writing a different kind of poem and thus far I’ve attempted…

The Best Remedy

Breathing is hard and I’m feeling fragile Sporadic sneezing so unable to rest Seems like this virus is here for a while I’m not in fine fettle it’s fair to suggest But the medicine I need is obvious to me My woes disappear at the sight of your smile And even unwell I feel at…

Chocolate Face

I don’t think about my skin Very often, although it is a colour That has provoked a reaction in others Both negative and at times Patronisingly positive Because my ethnicity might look Like a really nice sun tan But it isn’t a really nice sun tan. Living in a cosmopolitan town or city I am…

Escape Plan

Exhaustion weighs upon my Soul, as if on my head is a Crown of lead And offers of gold seem Preposterous Empty Promises of gifts I’ll never see Lead not gold is my continued reward Although freedom is all I require Neither lead nor gold is desired

A Day In The Life

Day 14 of Writing 101 was to write a post that takes place within a single day. I think that particular ‘time constraint’  already applies to the vast majority of the fiction I post on here, so perhaps a recollection of a particular day in my life would be appropriate here. The problem is that…

Brian’s Week

For day 13 of Writing 101 the idea was to tell a story through a series of vignettes. I’m not sure if I’ve managed this or not (being a little uncertain about what constitutes a vignette), but nonetheless I present the following story:

The Letter

Day 12 of Writing 101 was to attempt to write a post of a specific length. One suggestion was a 50-word story and I’ve never done one of those before so I thought I’d give it a go. See below for the astounding results… The Letter The paper glided confidently off her printer juxtaposing her…

Dear James

Dear James, You’ve fallen behind with ‘Writing 101’ again, when all you had to do was write a letter. It literally could have been to anyone and about anything. I know you were busy last Thursday , but seriously, couldn’t you have found a bit of time to just write a short satirical letter to…

It’s not all like Hogwarts…

Today’s Writing 101 task was to expand on an insightful comment that I had made on another person’s blog. All well and good, except I haven’t written too many comments on other people’s blogs in the last few weeks. I’ve barely kept up with writing posts for this blog.

Fulfilling my Quota

For today’s Writing 101 task, I need to produce something based on a quote. I do like a good quote, but I resent writing blog posts based on something clever that someone else said. People should be quoting me dammit!

Where does James Proclaim?

Today’s assignment on Writing 101 came in two parts. One part was to create a poll asking my readers for suggestions for me to write about in a future task. I haven’t done a poll but if anyone reading this has a burning desire to read my take on a particular topic then please comment below. The…