A Relatively Charming Post About Not Much At All

As I write this, it is 8:30 on Sunday morning, though it will be Monday by the time this reaches either of my regular readers. Thus far today I have completed a fairly taxing workout that mostly comprised of doing lots of press ups (to anyone from outside of the UK, the ‘press up’ is very similar to the exercise known to the rest of the world as the ‘push up’. The main difference is that the ‘press up’ has slightly better manners) and lots of kettle bell swings. I read somewhere that if you just do those two exercises, you can achieve a full body workout. I have no idea if this is true, but I find it works up a sweat and frankly I like the simplicity. I do it three times a week and I also currently go running 3 times a week (Monday is my designated ‘rest day’ because Mondays are quite bad enough without subjecting myself to additional pain) and the net result of all this exercise is that I feel quite tired most of the time. Having completed my workout, I then undid all of the good work by eating lots of bacon and some croissants (I like to call this breakfast ‘The Full Franglish’). My life is full of these contradictions and depending on the criteria one uses, I might be described as in pretty good shape or in dreadful shape. I’m currently drinking my second coffee of the day and I already know it won’t be my last, but I will still be perplexed when I can’t get to sleep tonight. I did try embracing decaf coffee for a while last year. I even treated myself to some really expensive decaf to try to lessen the pain. It was nicer than normal decaf, but sadly it was still much less enjoyable than the fairly bog-standard caffeinated coffee I mostly drink. In the end I decided that life is too short to drink decaf, although one could make the case that my life might end up being considerably shorter because I frequently make decisions along those lines. My flirtation with alcohol-free beer was short-lived and best forgotten.

You won’t be aware, but three hours have passed since I wrote that first part. It’s 11:30ish as I begin this bit of a post that is quite possibly not going to be about anything. Little Proclaims objected to me attempting to write while I was also supposed to be playing with her. She overcame this problem by using my laptop as a designated play area for her toy animals. It’s quite hard to write while a small plastic giraffe is making itself at home on your keyboard. So I discarded my writing and took Little Proclaims out for a jaunt. She had a nice time and I am strangely covered in mud now. Indeed she had such a nice time that when I decided that we should come home, she objected quite vociferously. I was not to be turned so she called out for her mummy. Loudly. All the way home. Ironically her mummy was in the very place that she objected me taking her to. Still, the result of her pleading was that I was able to hand her over to her mummy upon our return and thus have been able to write this bit of the post without a plastic giraffe impeding my efforts.

I’ve just had a week off work, because last week was half term. One might think, with the schools all being closed, that life as an educator has been relatively easy of late and I didn’t need a week off. Nothing could be further from the truth and though schools remain closed I am very much dreading my return. Indeed I can’t wait until schools reopen properly so that I can get back to disliking my job on terms that I understand. Half term was also far from relaxing, because Little Proclaims manages to make even passive activities like watching TV into highly stressful affairs. But if looking after my daughter is not restful, it’s usually pretty good fun. Even when she’s screaming in public places for the parent that isn’t me.

Anyway, although it will be Monday when this post hits the blogosphere, I still have a few hours left of Sunday to enjoy. I can hear my wife and child coming down the stairs to join me for lunch. It will be a relatively healthy lunch, but when Little Proclaims and I were out, we did buy some chocolate chip shortbread, so there will be ‘lunch dessert’. Life is always better when there is ‘lunch dessert’.