Category: Humour
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‘That interview’ aired on UK television on Monday evening, so I’ve left it rather late to share my views on the whole Harry and Meghan…
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As I appear to still be plagued by writer’s block, I thought I’d let my two-year-old daughter, known to her fans as Little Proclaims, take…
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I don’t know if the problem is that I’m uninspired Or if it’s just a case that I’m a little overtired But lately I’ve been…
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It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this. Little Proclaims is having a nap, Mrs Proclaims is working on her PhD and I am steadfastly ignoring…
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When you are a blogger That is plagued by writer’s block And you’re trying to post daily And you’re up against the clock It’s better…
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Hello dear readers and welcome back to the multi-award nominated blog, James Proclaims. Since the end of March 2020 I have been posting on a…
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If I only write A single haiku this week It will be this one
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Happy World Book Day everyone! Because if you live in the UK, then today is World Book Day. If you live somewhere else then it…
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Though March is but a few days old I’m disappointed, (truth be told) That most days are still quite cold Unlike the dream that I…
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You could say 2021 Has not really been much fun But as we’re on month number three It won’t be long until we’re free For…
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Yesterday, I wrote a post in which I made claims to be Welsh, so it would seem negligent not to acknowledge that today is St…
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I am Welsh. Sort of. I was actually born in England, to an English mother and a sort of Indian father. My father was born…
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These days I generally schedule my posts in advance, even the bad poetry, which means that I am guilty of committing those crimes against literature…
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Occasionally I like to put together a ‘Found Poem’ based on things that other people have written or said. In this case it was something…
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As I write this it is Monday morning, and we’ve yet to formally hear any details of Boris Johnson’s ‘roadmap’ to lifting lockdown. He’s going…
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As I write this, it is 8:30 on Sunday morning, though it will be Monday by the time this reaches either of my regular readers.…
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My intellectual property Is not worth that much at all to me In the light of its theft I would not be bereft It’s already…
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When I can’t cope I look for hope In empty calories In salted snacks and melted cheese Food gives relief Though not without griefFor the…
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Recently I fear I’ve been drinking too much beer Though it might be less risky Than consuming excess whisky It has often been my way…
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This poem is quite boring This poem’s not interesting This poem is monotonous This poem is tedious This poem is repetitious This poem is repetitiousThis…
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Oh we’re still in lockdown three Yearning to be free But you won’t find me whinging Instead I’ve started binging Boxsets, booze and food Whatever…
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A Rhyme That Is Relying On Its Dissimilarity To Other Poetic Forms In Order To Justify Its Existence
Today I have nothing of worth to say But it appears that I’m saying it anyway And when I have nothing to convey Bad poetry…
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The other day I had to attend a conference of sorts. It’s not a regular feature of my job but it happens once in a…
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Please be mine On this day of Valentine It’s not like you have a choice So you might as well rejoice Because you are my…
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Trivial haikus Statistically speaking Are quite popular
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Once a young man travelled to Reading He didn’t know where he was heading He was aiming for Slough But he won’t go there nowCos…
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There was a young man from Reading Who was worried about viruses spreading The television news Only served to confuse Now he was also scared…
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The other day I was giving Little Proclaims a bath. I say ‘giving her a bath’, but these days my main function is to get…
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“Daddeee! My welleeee!” “Oh no, has your welly come off? Well I’m driving at the moment but I’ll put it back on for you when…
James Proclaims! 