No Cats Were Harmed In The Writing Of This Poem


It’s not that I don’t appreciate
Innovative ways of doing things
I’m certainly no advocate
For always doing
The tried and tested
I’m all for experimenting
Redefining what’s possible
Doing things differently

It’s not the methodology that matters
So much as the goal
And how ever many ways
There might be to achieve this
I’m still not convinced
That we need to skin a cat

Because aside from being an act
Of extreme brutality
I’m not sure what purpose it would serve
Cat skin doesn’t seem like a feasible material
To fashion even the most rudimentary of garments
And surely no-one wants to eat the meat
No I’m pretty sure those rumours are unfounded
No-one wants the meat

Yes I understand that it’s really just a metaphor
I just never really thought it was a good metaphor
In much the same way
That this poem
(If indeed this is a poem)
Could in any way be viewed
As a good metaphor
For the UK Government’s approach to…
…well anything really
But much like needless cat murder
It is a metaphor nonetheless
And I expect some people will get it
For all its clumsiness