The Letter

Day 12 of Writing 101 was to attempt to write a post of a specific length. One suggestion was a 50-word story and I’ve never done one of those before so I thought I’d give it a go.

See below for the astounding results…

The Letter


The paper glided confidently off her printer juxtaposing her own self-doubt. Was she doing the right thing? She reviewed the arguments again in her mind before concluding that her previous rationale still held true. A lack of alternatives was no reason to continue as before.

She signed the letter.

I’m sure this post is about something but I couldn’t tell you what….

James Proclaims (4)

Alas Writing 101 has not gone particularly well. It’s the final week and we’re now on Day 16, but somehow I find myself still endeavouring to complete Day 11. I’m a full week behind, and unless I start to post twice daily I’m going to struggle to finish on time.

Which leaves me with a dilemma. Do I break my one and only blogging rule, which is to never post more than once a day in order to finish on time, or do I just accept failure and give up now? Continue reading I’m sure this post is about something but I couldn’t tell you what….

If I were meeting you for coffee

James Proclaims (4)


Task 10 on Writing 101 was to write a post as if I was catching up with my reader over a cup of coffee. It’s apparently quite a common thing to do in the blogosphere. It doesn’t really sound like my ‘cup of tea’ but I’ll give it a go… Continue reading If I were meeting you for coffee

Dear James

James Proclaims (4)

Dear James,

You’ve fallen behind with ‘Writing 101’ again, when all you had to do was write a letter. It literally could have been to anyone and about anything. I know you were busy last Thursday , but seriously, couldn’t you have found a bit of time to just write a short satirical letter to someone fictional? Continue reading Dear James

It’s not all like Hogwarts…

James Proclaims (4)

Today’s Writing 101 task was to expand on an insightful comment that I had made on another person’s blog.

All well and good, except I haven’t written too many comments on other people’s blogs in the last few weeks.

I’ve barely kept up with writing posts for this blog. Continue reading It’s not all like Hogwarts…

Where does James Proclaim?

James Proclaims (4)

Today’s assignment on Writing 101 came in two parts.

One part was to create a poll asking my readers for suggestions for me to write about in a future task.

I haven’t done a poll but if anyone reading this has a burning desire to read my take on a particular topic then please comment below.

The other part of today’s task was to describe the place where the magic happens.

Where am I based when all these amazing proclamations find their way from the inner workings of my psyche to the pages of a blog that is read by literally tens of people all over the world? Continue reading Where does James Proclaim?

I can’t decide if it actually would have been better to procrastinate than to write this post

James Proclaims (4)

As I explained yesterday, I’m a little behind on Writing 101. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like they’re going to kick me off the course or that it’ll affect my final grade. I don’t even get a final grade. I should get a final grade. It would clearly be an A.

Having said that, if I manage to complete Friday’s task today then I’ll be back up to date.

So I’m going to try to do just that.

Will I succeed?

The tension is palpable.

Ok I’ll put you out of your misery. I did succeed and the fruits of my labour can be found below. Continue reading I can’t decide if it actually would have been better to procrastinate than to write this post

Keith’s Attic

I’ve fallen behind on Writing 101, but fortunately they give you the weekend off so I can catch up by posting Thursday’s assignment today and doing Friday’s assignment tomorrow.

Thursday’s task was to write a post inspired by a picture. We were given a choice of four and I chose the one below. As I usually write a short story around this time of the week I decided I’d do that for this task.

So it’s all worked out quite well really… Continue reading Keith’s Attic


James Proclaims (4)

It’s day 3 of Writing 101 and day 4 of my new job.

Because I’ve got a new job.

So I slightly regret signing up for Writing 101 because I’m struggling for time as I adapt to a new role, even though the new role is basically the same as one I did three years ago, which is that of a classroom teacher of maths. I’m a bit out of practice. Three years ago it was a job I could do in my sleep (and I frequently did) but I’m having to be a bit more on my game at the moment. Continue reading TREASURE REGRET HOME LOVE UNCERTAINTY SECRET

This post is essentially just a list of stuff that I like

James Proclaims (4)

Day 2 of Writing 101 and today’s assignment is to write a list.

I was going to come up with a list of my favourite lists, but it turns out there aren’t that many lists in my life of importance. My weekly shopping list helps to keep Mrs Proclaims and I well stocked with household goods but makes less than exciting reading.

But I don’t want to miss an assignment, so a list is required. Continue reading This post is essentially just a list of stuff that I like

Why I Write

James Proclaims (4)

Hello readers of ‘James Proclaims’, whoever and wherever you may be. If you’re tuning in on a Monday then you’re probably looking for my ‘hilarious’ regular feature ‘James Complains’. But it’s not here. Instead there’s this.

But what is ‘this’?

Well I’ve only gone and signed up for another of those blogging courses that WordPress runs from time to time. This one’s called Writing 101. It lasts for four weeks. During that time I’ll be filling these pages with posts inspired by assignments from afore-mentioned course.

They may not all be worth reading, but I’ll do my best.

Today’s assignment was to answer the question :

Why do you write?

I write because I enjoy it. That’s definitely the main reason.

I do have this outlandish notion that someone one day might pay me for being a writer. Perhaps that it might even make me wealthy. And I wouldn’t be against that at all.

But if it doesn’t happen I’ll probably still write.

I write because I enjoy the ego boost I get when someone tells me they’ve enjoyed what I’ve written. It’s nice when someone recognises you for being good at something that you want to be good at. I need that kind of validation from time to time – I have a fragile self-esteem.

I can’t play a musical instrument (at least not in tune), I’m not especially athletic, and aside from a few rudimentary cartoons, I’m not at all able when it comes to the visual arts.

But sometimes I write stuff that makes people laugh.

And that makes me happy in my own little way.

The Limerick Code

I feel a mild disclaimer is required for this particular piece of fiction. I hope it’s clear that I’m parodying a particular genre and everything below was written with tongue firmly in cheek. Nonetheless I can’t ignore the fact that this particular genre is quite popular commercially so I reserve the right to adopt ‘Professor Peter Turnbottle’, without even a hint irony, as the hero of a novel that I may write in a shameless attempt to secure an agent and book deal in the future.


Professor Peter Turnbottle examined the letter again. It made no more sense upon the second reading.

“Contained in this note is a warning
That a day full of peril is dawning
I advise you leave now
Or I fail to see how
You won’t draw your last breath this morning.” Continue reading The Limerick Code