The laugh of a childA charming sound but betterDuring daylight hours
Month: August 2020
James Explains How To Blog
Hello bloggers and bots, it’s James here, off of the multi-award nominated blog, ‘James Proclaims’. I’ve been at this blogging malarkey for over five years now (if we ignore all the blogs I started and then abandoned in the preceding years. Of which there were a few) so I’m something of an expert. Indeed after…
James Explains How To Comment
Hello fellow bloggers, bots and the unlikely but still plausible person who reads this and is neither a blogger nor a bot. Today I’d like to talk about commenting on blogs. Because I’ve noticed that some people are prone to do so on this blog and, to put it bluntly, not everyone is getting it…
A Friday Haiku
Haikus on FridayAre tonally more upbeatThan Monday haikus
Playing With Fire?
Welcome to another Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog where I have handed over my incredibly influential and important digital platform to showcase the artistic talents of my two-year-old daughter. After last week’s mostly blue efforts, she has gone with some other colours this week. Just to highlight her range. I’m not sure what…
The Last Post: Why I’m Giving Up Blogging Forever
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. This is my 757th post on this particular blog. I thought it was going to be my 750th but I appear to have overshot by a week. Last Wednesday’s post, entitled ‘The Insurance Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About This Simple Life Hack Which…
An Urgent Appeal On Behalf Of The James Proclaims Foundation
At this difficult time, it is easy to forget those less fortunate than ourselves, but here at The James Proclaims Foundation, we refuse to abandon those who are in need of our support. Over the last few months we have been working tirelessly to continue to provide essential services to people like ‘James’. James is…
A Haiku By A Sleep-Deprived Parent
Sleep like a babyAt inconvenient timesAnd rarely at night
A Poem About How Toilet Roll Went Away (Lest We Forget)
So rare once upon a timeNow in plentiful supplyYour absence was a real crime It never made much sense whyYou vanished from all the storesScarcity that made us cry And long queues outside shop doorsAfter panic most undueCaused multiple bog roll wars So it’s true that we missed youBecause many things may changeBut we’ll always…
A Haiku About Unrealistic Expectations Of Technology
My phone may be smartBut it can’t do the dishesWhich is unhelpful
A Stupid Ode To My Socks
Oh threadbare socks upon my feetWhat gripping stories could you tell?To hear them would be such a treatI bet they intrigue and compelYou have been here, you have been thereYou have walked down many a streetAnd you have acquired quite a smellSo I must switch to a new pair
Much A-Blue About Something
Hello and welcome to a very special Artist’s corner. As you will know if you read last week’s powerful and moving piece, I am no longer a contributor to this feature due to having been usurped by my two-year-old daughter. Although our collaborations over the last few weeks have achieved great acclaim, it has been…
The Insurance Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About This Simple Life Hack Which Could Save You Thousands
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog ‘James Proclaims’. You may have clicked on this post on the basis that the title suggests it contains some kind of life hack for saving money – money which you would otherwise lose to the insurance industry. In reality this post contains nothing of the sort. I…
The Adequate Blogger Award
Happy Tuesday everyone! I’m super excited today because I’ve been nominated for ‘The Adequate Blogger Award’ by James over at James Proclaims. I just want to take a moment to thank James for nominating me. He has a super awesome blog which has poetry and haiku and limericks and poems and also some really brilliant…
The Age Of Envy
I don’t know if it’s a modern phenomenonOr just something that has become more evidentThanks to the prevalence of social mediaBut I’ve noticed that some people apparently feel the needTo claim that their accomplishmentsAre more impressive than they probably areIt’s the kind of thing that one might expectFrom politicians and so-called celebrities But I think…
The Intent Behind This Poem Could Be Romantic Or It Could Be Laziness. I Like To Think It’s A Little Of Both
I like a hot beverageAlmost any time of dayAnd if it’s not made how I like itI’ll drink it anyway My preference is coffeeBut to avoid confusionI’ll happily drink teaAnd accept a fruit infusion Some drinks can be refreshingAnd some quite stimulatingWhile herbal ones I findAre often more sedating Sometimes I like to thinkThat I…
A Poor Limerick That Does At Least Offer A Rationale For Its Lack Of Quality
As I type this it is fairly latePerhaps it would be better to waitTill the morning to writeNot at my best tonightAs my poetry would indicate
A Haiku About Heat
Heatwave and toddlerImproved my understandingOf the word fatigue
Frog
Welcome to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog where I post quite a rubbish picture that I have drawn and pretend that it is art. Today is something of a bittersweet day because I am, sadly, going to announce my retirement from Artist’s Corner. The time has come to pass the baton on to…
10 Celebrities Who Have Serious Mental Health Problems – You Won’t Believe Number 4!
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. The above picture is of Henry Cavill, who is possibly best known for playing a version of Superman, but not the definitive version of Superman, because that will always be the late, great, Christopher Reeve. As well as playing an ‘OK but not great’ version…
The Tragic Tale Of Dipsy
The picture above is of Dipsy. On the off-chance you’ve never come across him before, Dipsy is a Teletubby, off of the TV show ‘Teletubbies’. I say ‘he’ although I wasn’t sure before I started writing this if Teletubbies had specific genders and, if so, what specific gender Dispsy was. But I’ve checked, because the…
A Touch Of Insincerity
The last thing I wanted to do today was upset you But I’ve been feeling quite stressed Because I’ve had so much to do A really long list of things I intended to complete And frankly I was worried that I wouldn’t have time So it’s come as something of a relief That I have…
Please Read – This Post Contains Important Information Regarding a Forthcoming Induction Seminar For New Followers
Welcome to James Proclaims – I would like to offer our sincere thanks to you for choosing to further your reading experiences here. You are following a great blog with a longstanding commitment to excellence and innovation. At James Proclaims, leadership in poetry and satire is combined with a collaborative spirit and global connections. You…
An Ode To Wasting Time
There are many hours I spend Watching boxsets on my screen Though I don’t know to what end Because I can’t say that I’m keen The mis-en-scene is flawed And the acting is quite weak Yet I still sit and stare Completely under-awed Though one positive critique Is the comfort of my chair
A Limerick Exposing Me For The Charlatan I Am When It Comes To Poetry
You would rather be producing prose That is not how blogging always goes If you don’t have much time And you know how to rhyme Then claim you’re a poet and compose
The Birds
Welcome back to another ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog where I publish some crudely drawn cartoons and pretend that they are art. Recently I’ve been collaborating with my now 2-year-old daughter (it was her birthday on Monday). The results have been akin to what you might get if a man with no discernible…
10 Unbelievable Epic Fails Caught On Camera
Hello, I’m James and this is my blog, ‘James Proclaims’. Recently I started writing posts with ‘click-bait’ titles. It was sort of an experiment to see if it got more people to visit my blog, but also a bit of fun that I thought that people who already visited my blog would find amusing. Insofar…
I Don’t Even Know The Rules
If there is more skill Than just counting syllables I can’t write haiku
James Predicts The Future
It’s not like me to use misleading titles for my posts. Apart from when it is. And I fear I may have done just that today. Because this post is not going to be me attempting to predict the future in a humorous way, which is probably what the title implies. Nor will it be…
Wanted – Talented Writers Who Have No Personal Ambition And Are Happy To Give Away Content For No Remuneration Or Credit
A exciting opportunity has arisen for a creative, results focused and ambitious Content Writer who can take direction from written or spoken ideas and convert them seamlessly into quality content that is better than the stuff we’re currently churning out. James Proclaims Ltd James Proclaims is a multiple award-nominated blog based in the UK somewhere.…
James Blogs About His Own Blog
Though unintentionally, I appear to have started the previous two months with a kind of ‘blog update’. I suppose it’s an inevitable consequence of posting something everyday that occasionally my muse will lead me to ponder my own blog and indeed the concept of blogging as a whole. And frankly I’m not alone in this. …
James Proclaims! 